Man, Matt Cassel was so awesome against the Raiders! He's a big part of why we won, and if you don't think so, you must think that he's the worst QB in the history of the planet! Those are the only two options. Pick one!
Who cares that he completed 50% of his passes, threw an awful pick, and missed a wide open Baldwin several times? I don't! If you even imply that he wasn't awesome, you're totally ruining the fun of enjoying the victory! You can't say he was, "only OK" or point out what he did wrong, because if you do you're really saying he sucks sucks sucks and it's all his fault and no one else's!
What's that? That's not what you said? Who cares??? You're the one who didn't think we could beat the Raiders, when any REAL fan knows that you always believe your team will win and never ever bashes Matt Cassel. It's the line's fault. It's the WR's fault. It's Todd Haley's fault. It's Muir's fault. It's the defense's fault. It's Zorn's fault. I'm pretty sure it's even H2E's fault.
Seriously, don't you know that if you talk about areas that need improvement after a victory, you're not being a good fan? After all, all that matters is that we won, who cares about analyzing the game and figuring out where we might go from here?
What do you mean that's not what you're trying to say? I heard you! You said, "Yeah, everyone was playing very well but Cassel. He wasn't bad, but he didn't do anything any number of QB's couldn't do." HERETIC!!! Philip Rivers had a bad game yesterday too! I bet you think he should be cut from the Chargers, don't you? DON"T YOU???? That is a completely logical conclusion to make based on what you said!
Stop telling me that's not what you're saying. You're wrong. I know what you're saying, not you. Seriously, you're that guy who's such a terrible fan and has such a lack of faith that you think Thomas Jones isn't playing a valuable role in our offense! Don't you know that he softens up the defense with those guns! No! Don't talk to me about YPC, or yards after contact, or how slow he looks! LALALALA not listening! His impact is INTANGIBLE! Again, a real fan would know this!
We beat the Raiders! Who cares why? Who cares what our potential strengths and weaknesses are? Honestly, who wants to talk about that kind of stuff, when we can all form a circle and chant Cassel's name over and over. Hey, did you hear he had back to back 400-yard games 3 years ago playing for a different team? How can he NOT be awesome?
Bottom line is this: every time you doubt Matt Cassel, someone somewhere punches a baby in the face. Is that the kind of fan you are? One who wants babies to get punched? I bet you are. I bet you're one of those "Suck for Luck" people! You don't even want us to win, and you'll NEVER be happy with anything Cassel does if you're not happy with a 15-30, 2 INT performance where he made some good plays and bad plays.
You'd know all this stuff too... if you weren't such a bad fan. Now go say 15 "Hail Cassel's" and your sins will be forgiven.
Just don't act like there's a middle ground ever, ever again.