Don’t mess with Eric berry.
1. Eric Berry does not need to wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Eric Berry.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Eric Berry pajamas.
3. Eric Berry will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Eric Berry.
5. Eric Berry is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
6. When Eric Berry crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
7. Eric Berry can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
9. Eric Berry's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
10. Eric Berry can slam a revolving door.
11. Who would win in a race between Superman and The Flash to the moon? Eric Berry.
12. When god created earth he made all men equal. Then he made Eric Berry.
13. Eric Berry knows what Willis is talking about.
14. Eric Berry decided to market his own urine....and they called it Red Bull.
15. If Eric berry uses ribbed condoms he uses them inside out, so that he gets the pleasure.
16. Eric Berry doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
17. Eric Berry lost his virginity before his dad did.
18. Eric Berry does not sleep. He waits.
19. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Eric berry.
20. The chief export of Eric Berry is pain.
21. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Eric Berry.
22. If you can see Eric, he can see you. If you can’t see Eric Berry, you may be only seconds away from death.
23. On the 7th day, God rested…. Eric Berry took over.
24. Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Eric Berry.
25. When Eric Berry was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
26. Eric Berry drinks napalm to quell his heartburn. .
27. If you want a list of Eric Berry’s’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
28. Eric Berry has never blinked in his entire life. Ever!
29. Eric Berry once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
30. Eric Berry doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.
31. Eric Berry invented water.
32. Contrary to popular belief, Eric Berry, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
33. Eric berry is Luke Skywalker’s real father.
34. Eric Berry does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
35. Eric Berry doesn’t need to pop his collar, because as soon as his shirt touches his skin it instantly get’s an erection.
36. Eric Berry once walked by a group of ladies with AIDS, when they stared at his ass they were all instantly cured.
37. Eric berry counted to infinity - twice.
38. Eric Berry does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Eric berry goes killing.
39. Eric Berry can speak Braile.
40. Eric berry has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
41. They once made a Eric Berry toilet paper, but the problem was, it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
42. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Eric Berry, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
43. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Eric Berry out. It failed miserably.
44. Crop circles are Eric Berry's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
45. Eric Berry kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two."
46. Eric Berry knows where in the world Carmen Sandiego is.
47. If you have five dollars and Eric Berry has five dollars, Eric Berry has more money than you.
48. When Eric Berry had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
49. Eric Berry once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
50. Multiple people have died from Eric Berry giving them the finger.
51. Eric Berry once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.
52. Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Eric Berry got an award for masturbating in public.
53. Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Eric Berry. Eric showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
54. If Eric Berry is late, time better slow the fuck down.
55. Eric Berry sleeps with a night light. Not because Eric Berry is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Eric Berry.
56. Eric berry and Mr. T once walked into a bar, the bar instantly exploded because no one place can contain that much awesome.
57. Eric Berry once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
58. Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Eric Berry..
Just for fun!
Derrick Thomas My Second Favorite Athlete of all Time (via apexisfree)
Had to stop at Hall of Famer Derrick Thomas's number feel free to add your own, and please for your safety, don’t mess with Eric Berry!