April Fools Joke Flops

… for real, halfway thru at the Steam Locomotive and I was dying … toooooooooooooooooo funny!

Sounding chipper, like it’s her Birthday or something “That’s okay dad! A fridge is more important than a car!”

Sounds like you gotta great kid there gifted. Congrats.

my friend that my girlfriend was pregnant and that I was going to have to drop out of school. I also said that she left me because we disagreed whether we should keep it or not. I sent him a text at like 2am on Apr. 1st so he was suspicious, but I think that helped make him believe. Anyway, I did an Oscar worthy preformance over the phone. I was crying and being a little hysterical. I asked him point blank, What should I do!!! He goes, “Uhh, just, you know, talk to her”. You could tell he felt the weight of the question and I started to crack up. I fooled him good.

I worked with this chick at a doctor’s office. We became super good friends. We used to play pranks on each other all the time. I always lost. So one day I decided I knew the perfect way to get her. My time had come at last.

I was wrong. I waited until she walked out of her office/cubby hole for a minute. I jumped up and told the rest of the office to “WATCH THIS”. I took her phone and dipped it in ink. A stamp inker. THe big thing. I covered it with ink. I told everyone I was going to call her in a second from the other line. She’ll see I’m on the other line (we had 3 lines) and answer the phone for me. Wah lah her ear will be covered in ink.

Just then the phone rang. Yup. You guessed it. I answered it. From her phone. AS I’M TELLING EVERYONE how I’m going to step over to my desk and call her from the other line so SHE will answer it. YES I DID THAT.

But wait. It gets worse. As I step out of her office a little embarrassed, she is standing at my desk on my phone….yup….calling me.. she heard me and went to my desk and nailed me with my own prank as I was braggin about it.

I know I’m a dad. I have a little girl. I feel ya. Wish I had the money to send you a new car for her. I wish I was rich. So does everyone else. I’m a generous fu**er.

If I ever win the lottery. I will buy everyone of the core guys from here a ticket to any game of your choice. Provided I can come along of course. I promise to not talk to you when other people are around LOL. I won’t embarrass you I promise lol.

So this morning, we’re at the breakfast table. The fridge is running. So Erin says, “Oh, what about the fridge? When are we getting a new one?” My wife and other daughter shout “APRIL FOOLS!!!!!” And Erin screams “AHHHH!” With a frustrated look on her face and trying not to smile she stomps off to her room and locks the door behind her.

I went to her and called her out. She came out and I gave her a big hug. She slapped me on the chest and she came back to the kitchen. She said “I was really angry about it yesterday, but what could I say?”

I told her of some of your responses…that you thought she was a great kid and showing how she’s growing up, etc. I told her how proud I was of her. She just smiled and said, “Dad, you’re mean!”

My wife got this really scary look in her eyes and said, “WHAT?” When I said “April Fools!”, she glared at me for a good ten minutes…It was kind of awkward for a while, I thought she was plotting my death.

so one time I’m back home in KC with my Mom and Sister, visitng, eating dinner … Sis asks me “so what breed of dog is she?” and I replied “she’s a dee-OH-gee”

few seconds later “a what?”
“a dee-OH-gee”
“what’s that?”
“what do you mean what’s that? you never heard of a dee-OH-gee?”
“ummmmm …”

mind you, our sweet, angelic Mama was trying so hard not to fall over laughing … mostly looking at me with a twinkle in her eye … SHE knew the secret

“why, it’s only THE most popular breed of dog ever!”
“really”
“oh, yeah … absolutely
“I’ve never heard of them”

by this time I’m beyond belief myself, so I decide to go easy on her …

“ok, one mone time … she’s a deeeeeee-OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-geeeeeeeeeeee”
“yeah, you said that … "
“do I need to go a little slower? a deeeeee (pause) OHHHHH (pause) geeeeeeeee”
“wait, say that again?”
“I’m gonna just spell it out for you, ok?”
“ok”
“d-o-g”

blank look for a moment …

“ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
“yeah, now you got it”