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Dear Football Gods, Please help put me in a beer-induced stupor for the next 3 1/2 months while...

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Dear Football Gods, Please help put me in a beer-induced stupor for the next 3 1/2 months while the Chiefs squad slowly shakes out. I know you mean well, but the offseason lull is slowly making me want to gouge my eyes out with all the rampant media speculation and false "experts". The downtime is bad enough, must you give us the swift kick to the babymaker that these repeated rumors and half-truths become? So yes, football gods, 3 1/2 months should allow for FA, the draft, and random signings to pass, and should give any lingering effects time to clear up before training camp starts. It's the least you can do for a starving fan. Thanks, KaloPhoenix P.S. - You guys would be my heroes if you could allow me to subconsciously skip over the words Wilfork, Dansby, McClain, Berry, Okung, Tate, Cody, Suh, and for your sakes, Clausen. Thanks.

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