It is now week 12 and there has been no sign of the AP parade, so I have decided to take matters into my own hands.
Chiefs fans everywhere are gearing up for Sundays game against the Broncos. And why wouldnt they? Josh McDaniels and the Denver Broncos embaressed our Chiefs in Denver. They dominated the first half of that game by scoring at will and shutting down the leagues number one rushing attack without even stacking the box. Many Chiefs fans believe this is due to Spygate II. Josh McDouchebag and his coaching staff alledgedly sabotaged the game by making sure the replay booth wouldnt work and by fixing the Chiefs headsets so that plays could not be called in from the coordinators. Other fans believe that McDumbass and his coaches somehow got a hold of the Chiefs playbook, or were at least listening in to the coaches talking on the sidelines. Whatever happened, the Chiefs left that cold miserable climate with their tails tucked between their legs.
I don't know what happened in Denver, but for some reason, I am a little pissed off about the outcome. Like the majority of Chiefs fans I hope Denver gets beat so bad at Arrowhead the Josh McDaniels gets canned before he even makes it back to the airplane. On second thought, I hope McDaniels never gets canned. I hope the Chiefs win so big that McDaniels gets a 20 year contract just for bringing publicity to the team, but I digress. Let me get to the point: The reason for this article is to have a little fun at the expense of everyones favorite mountain climbing, trailor park living, sister kissing, Brokeback Mountain watching Broncos.
Real men dont use vasoline.
We all remember the playoff game in 97 against the Broncos when they won 14-10. We also remember the stopage in time when the Bronco players had to wipe the vasoline off their jerseys because they went a little far in their pre-game circle jerk session. If im not mistaken I think it was led by ol horseface himself.
Speaking of quarterbacks..
Who would have thought.. Sometimes when I go out with my friends to the bar and I see a hot girl paired up with some dude that looks like he couldnt score a date with Ugly Betty, I look to the sky with my hands up and say.. "I dont get it." But in this case, I think they are just friends... Dont believe me? Heres my proof.
Speaking of quarterbacks that wont amount to anything...
I wonder why he picked her.. It must be her huge Christian.............. heart.. and by heart I mean boobies. So what, their new QB has a hot girlfriend and could probably steal mine, we all know what she will look like in 20 years.
Regardless what anyone might say, Tebow and Orton are deffinitly an upgrade over Jay 'Crybaby' Cutler.
Who can forget the countless pissing matches that Cutler had with opposing players. This guy could almost make Phillip Rivers look like a man. Zing! I wrote this whole article to include that one joke. So there ya go.
I hate to keep going with this theme but...
If the shoe fits than you must wear it. I mean, I dont have to look to hard to find pictures of Broncos players doing stupid things.
I was thinking.. What good has ever come from Denver? So I did a little research and found some of the most famous people ever to come out of that God forsaken place.. This is what I found.
Yep.. we all know Tim Allen AKA Tim the Tool Man Taylor.. He provided us a mediocre sitcom on ABC. Personally I thought the highlight of that show was Heidi.
Dog the Bounty Hunter. He comes from Denver. So anyone who had a problem with the statement I made about Denver being trailor park country can now shut their mouths.
Charlie Skaggs or better known as 2 Cold Scorpio from the WCW.. And then he turned into Flash Funk in the WWF. He came out to the music "Jungle Boogy" and "Whoomp There it is".. His finishing moves were called "Scorpio Splash," "Funky Flash Splash," and "The Dis That Dont Miss."
Thats right.. The Fray are from Denver. So if you own a The Fray CD, you should bring it to that game Sunday so that we can have a cd burning.
Well, Ok.. Scooby himself is not from Denver. But, the man who did Scooby's voice is Frank Welker, and he is from Denver. I know, I know, im stretching a bit. But, it is really hard to find the best that Denver has to offer.
To wrap things up today, I found a special picture that I hold dear to my heart. Does anyone remember all the crap that Todd Haley got for not playing football? Well lets just say..
At least he wasnt a kicker.