There's a lot of controversy on AP right now (is if that's something new). I won't even get into the different issues that are currently dividing us as Chiefs fans, but we sure do love our debates here.
The great thing is that a lot of these debates have degenerated into basically a lot of circling around, repeating points, ignoring others' opinions, and putting words into peoples' mouths.
So what's the solution? Well, obviously a little tutoring session in how to annoy someone and destroy what was up until then a fun, insightful discussion. Because hey, if that's what were going to do anyways, we may as well be able to do it with ease, right?
Technique #1- Sweeping statements/insults with no supporting facts/arguments
All of these are examples of making a strong statement without providing any reason/logic/facts whatsoever (BTW I went with both sides of the aisle politically to keep this all friendly). And that is a SURE way to get a bad reaction from someone. Statements like this
"Matt Cassel sucks!"
"Matt Cassel is awesome!"
"Scott Pioli is an idiot!"
"Eric Berry is an awesome safety!"
"It's so obvious that Eric Berry is a terrible safety!"
Know what all those statements have in common? None of them give any reasons/facts whatsoever to back them up. If you're looking to kill a fun debate or get someone to say something snotty/condescending/insulting to you, a statement resembling these will likely do the trick
Technique #2- Personal potshots
The fastest way to turn a good convo into a flame war. Almost always works, and doesn't really require a lot of thought. Win-win! So when someone is arguing with you, go ahead and fire back with statements like...
"Wow, you clearly don't know what you're talking about."
"You don't know jack about this game."
"You're such an idiot."
And of course, my personal favorite...
"If you were a real fan..." (any variation of this is always hysterical)
Out of all of those, I'd personally recommend the "insulting someone's fandom" method. By far the least logical and most likely to get a hostile response.
Technique #3- Putting words in someone's mouth and/or taking them out of context.
This is probably the most commonly used technique for destroying real conversation and debate, but it's used a lot because hey, it's the best. It allows you to sound pretty smart while at the same time making the other guy look like an idiot. Fantastic stuff, right? And so what if your reinterpretation of his words aren't accurately depicting what he said? The point is you've managed to make him look dumb and ground any real debate to a halt.
The reason this is so effective is that it forces a person to defend against something they didn't even say or mean. This way, a lot of words get spoken, but the conversation goes nowhere. Yay!!! A great bonus is if you do it just right, you can feign innocence when someone gets mad at you and make THEM the bad guy. Does it get better than that?
So the next time you want to completely stop all logical thought and honest debate, look no farther than these time-tested techniques. They won't let you down, I can promise you that. And hey, remember, any attempt at real discussion may result in fun and thought-provoking arguments. And we don't want that now, do we? After all, allowing stupid things like facts and reasonable arguments to get to our heads may damage our self-esteems.
That's the kind of attitude I want to see around here!
Obligatory ninja picture...
********Last-minute fact- If you were offended by anything in this post (rather than just amused, like my intention was), then you can be pretty confident you are doing some of the things I'm talking about********