As a Chiefs fan, it is normal to follow up a game like yesterday's against the Broncos (I use their proper name because they did, after all is said and done, whoop our butts--congrats to Broncos fans everywhere) with despair, dejection, or a tirade of derrogatory remarks about everyone connected to the team from the Owner to the ball boys. I'll call them whines. What goes well with whine? Cheese of course! Not just any Cheese however, the Cheese that matches perfectly with that whine is what empties the bottle, dispelling that whine until such time as another bottle can be crafted and the process begins all over again.
The football field in Denver was absolutely littered with Cheeses of all varieties last Sunday. Tasting party extrodinare. Some of those cheeses were rather sharp in nature too. Imbibe with me, if you will, on a short tour of the Arrowhead Whine Cellar.
Whines (just like their cousins wines) get more intense and their flavors enhance as they age. The "Matt Cassel is not a franchise QB" whine has become particularly heady, because of the number of weeks that have passed in the search of the proper cheese to send the bottle back to the whinery. This Whine has actually been gaining in popularity since preseason while the search for the cheese has continued. Reading the label of this Whine will tell you that "Cassel's lack of effectiveness in the passing game is limiting our ability to compete. Further, Cassel is merely a game manager that the coaches obviously do not have confidence in, so they will not allow him to try and make plays. This will ultimately cost us games and is definitely not worth the 63 million dollar price tag." Thank goodness the search for the necessary cheese ended in Denver. Who knew they had such a supply?
This cheese is named 469 yd/4 TD No INT. It is very creamy and satisfying, especially for those who went ahead and agreed with the high price of this whine. To those afficianados, this cheese confirms that the money for this whine was well spent. I have noticed that even now, with the discovery of this perfect pairing of whine and cheese, there are whine 'experts' out there that are still finding fault with certain aspects of this whine. Things like not seeing open receivers, low and slightly off target passes, and getting sacked (could that be having too much whine?) are still being discussed as flaws in this remarkable whine. Believe me when I tell you that ALL whines have this in common and those flaws make up the personality of that whine. There will always be some who do not care for its taste. It is the nature of whine making to take note of such things. As for me? Once the proper cheese was found, I drank the entire bottle (koolaid this was not).
Then there is the "Why isn't Charles getting the lion's share of the touches because it is so obvious that he is the better back and that is the formula for success for the 2010 Chiefs" whine. This one is not quite as expensive as the first but has become a bit more full bodied as it has matured. I must say that my first taste of this whine left me feeling a bit like this:
Now I find that I adore the whine, once again with the proper cheese. This cheese is named 14 to 4 or 70% vs. 20%. Charles had 70% of the carries (14) on Sunday. Jones had 20% (4). This cheese made this whine so much better that I was looking for more around the third quarter. Then Jackie Battle started getting carries and I was unable to find a suitable whine for Jackie. He just hasn't been on the scene long enough to make a statement. Do not let this trouble you though whine fans. I am sure that fans of the Red and Gold will develop a very nice whine for Jackie should he begin to see more playing time. I have heard of a small batch of whine called "Why not let him play, can he be that bad?". Unfortunately this whine is still a bit nondescript and could be confused with another player named Verran Tucker. We will have to wait for more information before this whine can be classified.
I think the "Dewayne Bowe sucks, Yes or No, circle your choice" whine was in play in Denver as well. It's paired cheese was called "13 catches for 186 yards and 2 TDs". This elusive whine is hard to come by and cannot always be found on store shelves. When it can be had, however, it is a very nice whine to keep on ice for the fourth quarter. It is relatively sweet and goes well with game birds (like Cardinals).
There is also a new variant on the market. This one is a combination of known whines similar to what is known in the wine world as a Claret. By combining several whines, the whinery is attempting to create a taste that is unique and can be used in several applications on any given week should the need arise. This one is called the "Coaching staff, Gambling, Poor Playcalling, Romeo proves you can't run a defense without a secondary" whine. You see, this one covers a myriad of possibilities that could occur on the playing field. This one is more of a table whine that you can just sip on through out most games while you wait for mistakes. It pairs well with many cheeses, all of which are commonly available this season at most NFL outings. Some of these would be "Fourth down conversion", "Swing Pass to Charles for six", and "No depth on Defense".
There you have it Chiefs fans. A trip through the Arrowhead Whine Cellar.
I hope that you can begin to appreciate the cheese that goes with each whine. As the season wears on, there will be a lot more cheese. Maybe we should even consider a no whine zone?
Maybe we should let the cheese makers pick the kind of cheese they want instead of continuing to consume the whine without the cheese. Many fans got exactly what they had been asking for last Sunday and it resulted in our worst loss of the season. Cassel was called on to throw and throw he did. Career high in yards and TDs right? Charles got almost ALL the carries--to no avail. Until our defense gets healthy, we will see this kind of performance. We had to drop so many back in coverage that we had NO pass rush. What to do?
There are reasons for what happened. Kyle Orton has come into his own with very dangerous receivers to throw to. Our defensive secondary seems to need a lynch pin named Lewis. When our offense MUST throw the ball, the line can't quite keep Cassel as safe as they do when we can run. Cassel IS an NFL QB. Can we at least pull that Whine from production?
The Chiefs are still a team in transition. I don't like it either, but that's just the way it is. Prior to the season, no one would have thought about 12 wins, but once we hit 5 wins, some began to think that 12 was attainable. Now that we have lost two in the AFC West, the doom and gloom has begun to set back in. As long as the injury bug is pestering us, we will have trouble because we don't have solid depth. That affliction is common in today's NFL. Charles is having durability problems. That is one reason for having Jones. It is what it is.
The AFC West is going to be just like it always is. A ruff and tumble all the way to the end. How do you explain Oakland hanging over 50 points on Denver, then barely beating the Chiefs in OT with a FG, followed by the Chiefs giving up 49 points to Denver? Throw in SD being on the bottom of the division and all you can say is, "That's the AFC West".
Let's just take a breath, put down the whine and be witness to the progression. Looking for the right cheese can be a very rewarding task. Just take a look at this little guy:
Is that a Chiefs Helmet?