FanPost

Bewsaf Coming To You Live: As Roving Reporter (humor)

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/463217/AP-BewsafSportscaster.JPGBewsaf, your roving reporter here.  Coming to you, LIVE!, from deep within the tightly monitored compound that is known as...Chiefs stadium.

Only the few, the proud, the lucky receive access to this facility.  And, you got it, Bewsaf comes through again.  Yea, I had to pose as the parent of one of these lucky young boys that won a visit to the Chiefs locker room.  But undercover work is how this reporter rolls.

(Thomas Jones walks by Bewsaf and Bewsaf picks him up in a big hug...Thomas hurries off after being put down)  Hey, Thomas...come back.

Wait a second. Wait a second.  I see Matt Cassel(Bewsaf rushes over to Matt)

Bewsaf:  Matt...Matt...Matt  (Bewsaf pauses, takes a step back, and speaks with a deeper voice)  Uhh, Hello there Mr. Cassel.

Bewsaf:  (continuing to speak in a low voice) I noticed you have a game with the Texans this week.  Looks like they really have a physical defense.  What's your plans for this week?

Matt Cassel:   "One thing we're really trying to concentrate on as an offensive unit is third down..."

Bewsaf:  That sounds like a good idea since the Chiefs are ranked 4th worse in the NFL as of last week in 3rd down efficiency.

Bewsaf:  Hey!  There's my boy over there.  How about you give him one of your towels like old mean Joe.  Yea, Really?  You will...Great!  You're a stand up guy, Matt.

Bewsaf:  Just throw it over there to him.

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Matt Cassel:  (throws the towel)

Bewsaf: Uhh, yea....you missed him Matt.  The kid in the red shirt...over there.

Bewsaf:  See him?  About 20 yards over there. (Bewsaf points)

Matt Cassel:  (picks up another towel and throws it)           Pic Source

Bewsaf:  Woh!  Sailed right over the dudes head Matt.  Bring it down a notch.

Bewsaf:  Ok. Ok.  Hey Kid! (Bewsaf yells) Yea, you.  Scoot closer.

Bewsaf:  Ok, Matt.  There he is...about 10 yards there.  Throw him that thing.

Matt Cassel:  (picks up another towel and throws it directly at the kid)

Dwayne Bowe:  (walks through the path of the throw...sticks out hands and the towel falls to the ground).

Bewsaf:  (in a disgusted tone) Common Dwayne...catch the damn towel.  Now it's all dirty.

Well, not a bad interview with Matt...if I do say so myself.  That's right folks.  Nothing but quality interviews when it comes to your local "insider", Bewsaf.  I'll make my way around the facility and see if there is anyone else I can interview.

(Thomas Jones walks by Bewsaf again and Bewsaf picks him up in a big hug) 

Bewsaf:  Thomas, my MAIN man (Thomas hurries off after being put down)

Bewsaf:  Thomas?

Anyway, Thomas must be in a hurry.  let's see who I can interview....(walks around for a few minutes and then spots Shaun Smith sitting at a bench)  

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Bewsaf:  Hey Shaun.  How's my MAaaaaN do'n? (sticks out his hand for some...skiiiinnn.)

Bewsaf:  (becomes flush and lets out a deep groan)  Shhaun...I...think...you...got a hold of my....

Shaun Smith:  I have no comment.                               Pic Source

Bewsaf:  Of course you don't Mr. Smith...w..wh...why would you.  You didn't (pressure increases in Bewsaf's nether regions) doooooooo  anything.

Shaun Smith: Backs away from Bewsaf.

Bewsaf:  Shhhhwoooo!   Holy crap, Mr. Smith!  I think you just crushed my tenders into little bee-bees.

Bewsaf scurries with a wide gate (looking like a corncob stuck up his butt)  to the other side of the locker room.

Bewsaf:  Son of a...  I think I am going to have that have that checked.

Well, there you have it Chiefs fans.  Bewsaf.  Coming to you...LIVE!...from Chiefs compound.  Nothing but high quality interviews here.  Wait, Wait....I see Coach Haley.

Bewsaf:  Coach. Coach.  How about a comment about the game this week against the Texans?

Coach Haley:  "Defensively, they’ve got a bunch more big-time players that if you’re not careful..."

Bewsaf:  ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz...Whaa...was that me?  Sorry coach.  Go ahead.

Coach Haley:   "They have a real good group of linebackers that run and..."

Bewsaf:  ZZZZZzzzzzzz...Whaa...I'm really sorry coach I guess I didn't get enough sleep last night (Bewsaf shakes off the drowsiness provoked by Todd Haley's monotone press voice.) 

Bewsaf:  Coach?  Todd?  Where did he go?

(Jamaal Charles approaches Bewsaf with a puzzled look)

Jamaal:  Hey...how come you're giving Thomas Jones more carries tonight than me?  Huh?

Bewsaf:  Sorry Jamaal.  I really don't have a good reason for it.  Maybe because he just "gets it"?

 

That's all we have for today folks.  Just remember, all Bewsaf dramatizations are based on actual Chiefs news stories....you just have to squint to see it.

 

Disclaimer:  All quotes in this article where taken completely out of context....because that's how Bewsaf, the roving reporter, rolls.

 

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Click On "Bewsaf Past Posts" for more past articles

*Chiefs vs Colts - Breaking Down The O-Line Tape *Kansas City Chiefs Scoring By Field Position - Week 5

*The K.C. Cog That Is Helping the Chiefs Offensive Machine Run

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This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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