TEh Aw3suMesT MaWK DrAFt Evar!!!!eleventyonebillion!!111!RofLCopter!!!

So since my ultimate goal is to get banned from this magical place, and DTR has made it his mission to flag every mock draft I am going to challenge him to do so and counter any of these no-brainer draft picks and offseason moves

1.  Jimmy Clausen QB Notre Dame - Everyone knows he is the second coming of his older brother Rick Clausen he should easily be the best QB KC has had since Dave Kreig, and lets not forget we now have Weis

2(1).  Golden Tate WR/RB/KR/all around badass Notre Dame - Everyone knows the Chiefs suck, and Golden Tate does not suck so this is a no brainer, and lets not forget we now have Weis

2(2).  Sam Young OT Notre Dame - Everyone knows Brandon Albert sucks, and Sam Young plays Right tackle so obviously he is better than Brandon Albert because he is on the right side... Like Jesus, and lets not forget we now have Weis

3. Kyle McCarthy S Notre Dame - Mike Brown sucks, and Kyle McCarthy plays the same position at Notre Dame so he has to be good, and lets not forget we now have Weis

4.  Eric Olsen OG Notre Dame - We have terrible offensive lineman Eric Olsen is an offensive lineman and he played at Notre Dame, and lets not forget we now have Weis

5(1).  James Aldridge RB Notre Dame - So Jamaal Charles is easily the best running back to ever play football, and since Aldridge is a product of Notre Dame its only natural that he is drafted by the Chiefs, and lets not forget we now have Weis

5(2).  Eric Maust P Notre Dame - So like our only strength on this team is Dustin Colquitt, but hey we can't risk not having a back up punter so Eric Maust makes the most sense, and lets not forget we now have Weis

5(3).  Michael Anello CB Notre Dame - So like we give up lots of yards to shitty receivers so why not buck the current trend of covering bad players with better players, lets instead use reverse psychology and cover them with worse players, after all the results couldn't be much worse, and lets not forget we now have Weis

6.  Mante Te'o LB Notre Dame - We should just go ahead and take this guy now before he gets really good, because lets face it Mante Te'o is going to be better than Butkis, Singletary, LT, and Ray Lewis combined, and lets not forget we now have Weis

The players we should acquire from other teams this offseason are

Anthony Fasano TE Miami - Fasano is a really good player, and Weis coached him at Notre Dame so we should go ahead and offer a 7th round pick in the 2013 draft because hey the world is gonna end in 2012 anyway

Brady Quinn QB Cleveland - We are gonna need a good backup to Jimminy Clausen and Brady Quinn was the second coming of Montana and Tom Brady under Weis so we should offer a bag of used game balls because he sucks under Mangini and he played at Notre Dame

Jeff Samardzija Pithcer Cubs - Samardzija was awesome at catching WR screens at Notre Dame and Haley likes to run unsuccessful WR screens so he is obviously the best player we could target for our new backup QB to throw to in practice, and we could just offer Chicago a quart of Gates BBQ sauce and Jamaal Charles rookie card for him

Trevor Laws DT Philadelphia - Philly got destroyed by Dallas last night so it makes sense that they might just cut everyone and start over so we can easily get this guy when they do that, to be safe we could just offer them some used chewing gum and a half a roll of Mentos so at least they get something... Oh and Trevor Laws played at ND under Weis also.

Also we Should hire Tim Grunhard to be our new Offensive line coach, Ron Paulus to be our  QB coach, Tim Brown to be our WR coach, and Chris Zorich to be our new Defensive Line Coach since Krumrie is gone.

And lastly but certainly not leastly... We should hire Daniel Eugene "Rudy" Ruettiger has our special needs/practice squad captain/motivational speaker/short people affirmative action move.