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Hush Falls Over Patriots Camp As Tom Brady's First 10 Passes Go 3 Yards

FOXBOROUGH, MA—Excitement surrounding the return of quarterback Tom Brady devolved into mute panic Thursday as each of Brady’s first 10 passes barely made it to the line of scrimmage. "Oh, God," said Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, breaking the silence that fell across the assembled players, coaches, and legions of fans who had just witnessed Brady’s ninth pass flutter slowly from his limp hand and land between his own feet. "Who’s our backup? Does anyone know who our backup is?"

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