FanPost

Ask and you shall receive



Part One; Real Men of Genius; Turtle Edition

Part Two; The Most Interesting Turtle in the World (based on the Dos XX ad)

Paddy in conjunction with Arrowhead Pride and Bud Light present;

 

Real Reptiles of Genius

 

Today we salute you Mr. "First ever bad ass, super fast pro football receiving Turtle"

(Mr. First ever bad ass, super fast pro football receiving Tuuuuuuurtle!)

 

Sure, other reptiles may be satisfied basking in the sun on a log,

Or eating flies and dragon flies.

But not you.

You’re a bad ass wide receiver for the Kansas City Chiefs.

 

You went from prospect to football sensation overnight.

While some might feel bad taking Jeff Webb’s job away from him,

You could care less.

Cause you’re cold blooded.

 

Seriously.

 

(That Turtle’s ice cooooold!)

 

Yeah, some Turtles might be content humping each other on the Discovery Channel,

But you’re not content till you’ve left Rodgers Cromartie in a cloud of dust so thick,

The teams on the plane back to Kansas City before he finds his way out of it.

 

So crack open an Ice Cold Bud Light oh "Agile Reptile,"

Cause it’s first and 10,

And you’ve got some ass to kick.

 

(Mr. First ever bad ass, super fast pro football receiving Tuuuuuuurtle!)

 

 

 

Paddy, in conjunction with Arrowhead Pride and Dos XX Beer Present;

 

The Most Interesting Turtle in the World

 

Boxturtle1_medium

via www.wildwnc.org


 

 

He has already been voted to the Pro Bowl…and he hasn’t even stepped on the field yet.

 

He once dozed off while running a skinny post…and still went for six.

 

He can catch anything…and he doesn’t even have hands.

 

He once tried to seduce a human woman just to see if she’d go for it….she  did.

 

He once let a corner back cover him…just to see what it was like.

 

He’s the most interesting Turtle in the world.

 

 

CUT TO SHOT OF TURTLE, SURROUNDED BY WOMEN, HOLDING FOOTBALL

 

TURTLE

 

"I don’t often play football but when I do, I prefer Kansas City."

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Arrowhead Pride

You must be a member of Arrowhead Pride to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Arrowhead Pride. You should read them.

Join Arrowhead Pride

You must be a member of Arrowhead Pride to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Arrowhead Pride. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker