Ask and you shall receive
by Patrick Allen on Jul 24, 2009 12:23 PM CDT
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Part One; Real Men of Genius; Turtle Edition
Part Two; The Most Interesting Turtle in the World (based on the Dos XX ad)
Paddy in conjunction with Arrowhead Pride and Bud Light present;
Real Reptiles of Genius
Today we salute you Mr. "First ever bad ass, super fast pro football receiving Turtle"
(Mr. First ever bad ass, super fast pro football receiving Tuuuuuuurtle!)
Sure, other reptiles may be satisfied basking in the sun on a log,
Or eating flies and dragon flies.
But not you.
You’re a bad ass wide receiver for the Kansas City Chiefs.
You went from prospect to football sensation overnight.
While some might feel bad taking Jeff Webb’s job away from him,
You could care less.
Cause you’re cold blooded.
Seriously.
(That Turtle’s ice cooooold!)
Yeah, some Turtles might be content humping each other on the Discovery Channel,
But you’re not content till you’ve left Rodgers Cromartie in a cloud of dust so thick,
The teams on the plane back to Kansas City before he finds his way out of it.
So crack open an Ice Cold Bud Light oh "Agile Reptile,"
Cause it’s first and 10,
And you’ve got some ass to kick.
(Mr. First ever bad ass, super fast pro football receiving Tuuuuuuurtle!)
Paddy, in conjunction with Arrowhead Pride and Dos XX Beer Present;
The Most Interesting Turtle in the World
via www.wildwnc.org
He has already been voted to the Pro Bowl…and he hasn’t even stepped on the field yet.
He once dozed off while running a skinny post…and still went for six.
He can catch anything…and he doesn’t even have hands.
He once tried to seduce a human woman just to see if she’d go for it….she did.
He once let a corner back cover him…just to see what it was like.
He’s the most interesting Turtle in the world.
CUT TO SHOT OF TURTLE, SURROUNDED BY WOMEN, HOLDING FOOTBALL
TURTLE
"I don’t often play football but when I do, I prefer Kansas City."
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.
23 comments
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thanks man
its easy to make Turtle look good.
D-Bowe, Mark Bradley, Bobby Engram and Turtle. Four Chiefs WRers. 4 Pro Bowlers.
by Patrick Allen on Jul 24, 2009 1:27 PM CDT up reply actions
Turtle once had a 145 yard TD pass...
…To himself
Happiness is a long walk with a putter in your hand.
by craig in calgary on Jul 24, 2009 2:01 PM CDT reply actions
Turtle played Defence one game. He broke the NFL record with 11 sacks...
…in one play
Happiness is a long walk with a putter in your hand.
by craig in calgary on Jul 24, 2009 2:02 PM CDT reply actions
Turtle once kicked a 67 yard field goal...
…with his penis.
Happiness is a long walk with a putter in your hand.
by craig in calgary on Jul 24, 2009 2:03 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs
Turtle once punted the ball which landed on the 1 yard line at Arrowhead...
…from Qualcomm stadium
Happiness is a long walk with a putter in your hand.
by craig in calgary on Jul 24, 2009 2:04 PM CDT reply actions
If Turtle cloned himself and Turtle lined up in the defencive backfield against Turtle...
…the world would explode. But it would be awesome.
Happiness is a long walk with a putter in your hand.
by craig in calgary on Jul 24, 2009 2:07 PM CDT reply actions
hahaha
D-Bowe, Mark Bradley, Bobby Engram and Turtle. Four Chiefs WRers. 4 Pro Bowlers.
by Patrick Allen on Jul 24, 2009 2:08 PM CDT up reply actions
lmao
Whoever writes, "It is what it is," or, "At the end of the day," gets banned...Knowing is half the battle.
by DThomasReigns on Jul 24, 2009 4:59 PM CDT up reply actions
So, Craig have you been Turtle Waxed :)
August 14th Baby! Can't wait! 3 Fridays away!
Rule 49. " Think and talk positive football off the field." Hank Stram
Let's Kick some ASS in 09 or Die trying
by Steve_Chiefs on Jul 24, 2009 11:14 PM CDT up reply actions
Turtle once beat Priest Holmes in a foot raise...
while standing a still.
D-Bowe, Mark Bradley, Bobby Engram and Turtle. Four Chiefs WRers. 4 Pro Bowlers.
Turtle's favourite actor is Dana Carvey
Happiness is a long walk with a putter in your hand.
by craig in calgary on Jul 24, 2009 2:10 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Turtle once beat Jason Whitlock in a pie eating contest
Ok, no he didn’t. Thats too outragous.
Happiness is a long walk with a putter in your hand.
by craig in calgary on Jul 24, 2009 2:12 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs
umm...I will insert "something" there. can't promise it will be Turtle though. ;)
Whoever writes, "It is what it is," or, "At the end of the day," gets banned...Knowing is half the battle.
by DThomasReigns on Jul 24, 2009 5:00 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
This is the ultimate RMoG/Dos XX post.
I laughed harder at this than anything I have for a long time.
REC’DDDDDDDDDD.
Whoever writes, "It is what it is," or, "At the end of the day," gets banned...Knowing is half the battle.
And Craig's comments were pretty damn funny too.
Whoever writes, "It is what it is," or, "At the end of the day," gets banned...Knowing is half the battle.
by DThomasReigns on Jul 24, 2009 5:03 PM CDT up reply actions
Turtle once impregnated a woman by pointing at her stomach
and screaming BOOYEAH
by Your_Moms_Boyfriend on Jul 27, 2009 3:01 PM CDT reply actions
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