Real Men of Genius

I modeled this post after the Bud Light Real Men of Genius commercials and radio ads. If you have never heard them I suggest you google them before you read this post. I don;t know if this will work but I hope it is funny. The key is to imagine the narrators voice in your head as you read these. If you see something in brakets like this; (   ) that is supposed to be the guy singing. Went out on a limb with this one but hopefully some of you will enjoy it.




Paddy in conjunction with Arrowhead Pride and Bud Light presents; Real Men of Genius The NFL Edition


Today we salute you Mr. "Steroid Poppin Shawn Merriman"

(Mr. "Steroid Poppin Shawn Meeeeeerriman")

While others are trying to bulk up in the weight room,

You’re in the room behind the weight room

Bulking up with a needle.


Sure, you’re balls may be shrinking to the size of marbles,

But your contract says if you make it back to the Pro Bowl

You’ll get an extra million bucks.


You don’t worry about Roid Rage,

Cause you’re crackin skulls on the gridiron.

Besides, it’s the only way you can stay strong enough to keep Philip Rivers from sneaking up behind you in the shower.






Sure, you’ll be dead by the time your 40

But hell, the Chargers will probably release you when you’re 33 anyway.


So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh "Master of the Man Juice"

Cause you’re liver’s probably shot anyway.


(Mr. Sterroid Poppin Shawn Meeeeeeerriman!)




Today we salute you Mr. "Franchise Destroying Coach Herm Edwards"

("Franchise Destroying Coach Herm Eeeeeeeedwards")

While other coaches are winning games and inspiring players,

You’re letting them lose, so long as they like you.


Sure, you’re team may only gain 6 yards of offense all season,

But damn it, you’re sticking to the game plan.





Don’t worry, just because the average player age on your team is 14,

Doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll lose every game.

After all, you get to play the Raiders twice a year!




So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh "Proprietor of the Punt"

Cause you play to WIN the game

Even if everything you do causes the team to lose.

(Mr. "Franchise Destroying Coach Herm Eeeeeeeedwards")



Today we salute you Mr. "Crypt Keeper Al Davis"

(Mr. "Crypt Keeper Al Daaaaaaavis")

Well Al, you’ve come a long way baby

It used to be Super Bowls

Now it’s toilet bowls.


Sure, you’ve run your franchise into the ground,

And you’ve had 37 coaches in the last 3 seasons,

But even YOU weren’t dumb enough to hire Herm Edwards


Who cares if you’re 90 years old and out of touch,

How many other owners have grown up to look like their logo?




So put on your eye patch and crack open an ice cold Bud Light  oh "Barron of the Draft Blunder"

Cause if you just keep saying "Just Win, Baby!"

It might actually happen.


(Mr. "Crypt Keeper Al Daaaaaaavis")

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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