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"Twas the Night Before Football"

Ah yes. Christmas in July. From the FanPosts.

I am going crazy. Little to no news. I am scouring the internet and sucking it dry for any article or mention of the Kansas City Chiefs. I feel like I am trying to squeeze water out of a stone. I knew July was going to be a hard month for us all but for God's sake, it's only the 1st! Even things at AP have slowed down due to the lack of news. People aren't posting as much and we are simply running out of things to talk about.

I am the creative chap and I am going to do my best to keep us all, and myself, from totally losing it durrung this dark, dark time. I found myself today thinking about how the month of July is like Christmas Eve for football fants. at the end of the month training camps will start and shortly after that the Hall of Fame Game and the preseason!

Thus, in the spirit of the NFL's Christmas Eve, I present to you, my fellow Chief fans, a poem.

Star-divide

"Twas the Night Before Football"  

By Patrick "Paddy" Allen

  050883e0_medium

 

Twas the night before football, when all through the land           

Not a bleacher was covered, the game was at hand.

The jerseys were hung in their lockers with care

In hopes that tomorrow, a loss would be spared.

 

The Chiefs fans were resting all warm in their beds,

While visions of victories danced in their heads;

With a fridge full of brewed beer and ribs in some sauce,

The truck full of gas, and a football to toss.

 

Next day on the field there arose such a clatter,

Chiefs spikes in the grass cause now wins only matter.

Away to Arrowhead I drove with my cash,

For Chiefs versus Radiers, I knew they would smash.

 

The sun on the grass of the newly built shell

Gave a heavenly feel instead of more hell.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But firkin Todd Haley with a defense to fear.

 

With his eyes full of fire, his playbook so thick,

I knew in an instant the game plan would stick.

More quickly than horses his players they came,

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

 

Now D-Bowe, now Johnson, now Bradley and Cassel,

On Vrabel, on Thomas, on Dorsey and Jackson,

Let’s pass down the middle, let’s not be so small,

Now score away, score away, get us the ball!"

 

They were dressed all in red from their head to their feet,

My blood began to boil, I rose from my seat.

Jamarcus Russell they simply flung on his back

And I turned to my friend, "We just got a sack!"

 

Their eyes, how they narrowed. Their faces so hairy,

Their biceps like mountains, the Chiefs were not merry.

J Russell’s dumb mouth was drawn up like a bow

For even he was amazed by the D Bowe Show.

 

Al Davis was frightened; he took out his teeth,

He said, "Screw this guy Russel, I’m calling Ryan Leaf!" 

The great Chiefs scored again so Matt took a seat,

And in came T Thigpen to score with his feet.

 

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,

He called the next play, then turned with a jerk,

Up the middle he ran, feet giving off smoke,

He torched all the Raiders, their defense was broke.

 

The clock had hit zero, The Don gave a whistle,

And away they all flew, with the speed of a missile.

But I heard them exclaim, ere they ran through the hole,

"That ones for Lamar, now on to the Super Bowl!"

 

"Ho, Ho, Ho!"

  Cheerleader-santa_medium

via www.everyjoe.com

Poll
What do you want for Christmas/Holidays this year?
The Chiefs in the Playoffs.
452 votes
Al Davis cuts Russel, signs Ryan Leaf.
24 votes
Josh McDaniels trades Kyle Orton to the Raiders for Ryan Leaf.
26 votes
Norv Turner retained as Chargers Head Coach, given GM duties.
68 votes

570 votes | Poll has closed

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

22 recs  |  Comment 28 comments

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Outstanding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A truly excellent piece of work! Rec’d

You can’t see it, but I’m giving a standing ovation.

Chiefs go 9-7. LJ makes 1400 yards. DBowe makes 1200 yards. Defense #18.

by Zodeman on Jul 1, 2009 3:58 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

haha yes

‘for even he was amazed by The DBowe Show’

by The DBowe Show on Jul 1, 2009 4:42 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Seriously...can anything be more awesome than this?

REC’D. Yeah, I came with the caps.

I don't have religion, I have Baduizm...and Billie Holiday.
Erykah Badu is on notice. Amel Larrieux is catching up to you quickly. Let me see what you got, Erykah.

by DThomasReigns on Jul 1, 2009 4:42 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Dare I say, "Best Offseason Post EVER?"

I don't have religion, I have Baduizm...and Billie Holiday.
Erykah Badu is on notice. Amel Larrieux is catching up to you quickly. Let me see what you got, Erykah.

by DThomasReigns on Jul 1, 2009 4:48 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Bravo! Bravo!
But firkin Todd Haley with a defense to fear.

Favorite line! Hilarious – I’m stealin’ “firkin”…funniest damn thing I’ve heard in a while

Marley will be walking soon...she could probably play Linebacker better than some of the guys we had.

by PVChiefsfan on Jul 1, 2009 4:54 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

YES!!

I absolutely love it!!! I’m grabbing my eggnog!

Can't wait to put my pads on a Raider, My Helmet on a Hater. I'm the Arrowhead Gladiator!!

by ArrowheadGladiator on Jul 1, 2009 5:19 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

"We'll play football."

You mean “we” as in Raider Nation? Good idea. The team would probably IMPROVE with the addition of some Raider fans with little to no football experience. Hell just enter the draft and say you are fast. Al will draft you.

Paddy

by Patrick Allen on Jul 1, 2009 5:45 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

I don't think

That you can actually do either.

"...Said he couldn't go on the American way"

by Jux on Jul 1, 2009 6:02 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Nice Jux, My thought toooo

Chiefs fans are the most creative!

Let's Kick some ASS in 09 or Die trying

by Steve_Chiefs on Jul 1, 2009 6:10 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Excellent

Of course I want the Chiefs in the playoffs! And thanks to all the offseason happenings, that looks more possible every single day.

Rec’d of course.

Eh, my sig needs a little time off

by ratherfantastic on Jul 1, 2009 5:23 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Fine Poetry

But I am offended by the use of the word hell.

Just kidding. I actually own a Chiefs stocking like the one pictured.

by LarryDoggyDog on Jul 1, 2009 5:24 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Kudos Patty Rec'd!

you even got the attention of a Raiders fan !

by tomahawk44 on Jul 1, 2009 5:30 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Just what was needed in July +1000

is it me? or isn't about time the Lamar Hunt trophy belonged to His team?

by KC Fanatic on Jul 1, 2009 6:34 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

It is going too SNOW !!!

Let's Kick some ASS in 09 or Die trying

by Steve_Chiefs on Jul 1, 2009 8:19 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Fabulous

Awesome and amazing poem Pat, simply astounding!
Rec’d for sure, keep it up. I’m pretty sure I’ve enjoyed every post of yours, not one I haven’t liked

"Larry Fitzgerald, move over because there's another young gun, and his name is Dwayne Bowe from Kansas City" - 2009 Cris Carter Hall of Fame WR

In Pioli We Trust! Right?

by KC Nate on Jul 1, 2009 8:40 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

very very good

Herm is gone things are better with that one move!!

by bringbacktheglory on Jul 1, 2009 11:33 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

GREAT

Great stuff man. The off-season is hard on us all but that just made it better.

Thanks

by Chiefs439 on Jul 2, 2009 12:07 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Wow!

Bloody Effing Brilliant… every Chiefs player should have that posted on the inside of their locker.

by ChiefsDude on Jul 2, 2009 9:20 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

freakin awesome!

really needed a good laugh today, thank you!

by dr. kill 4 on Jul 2, 2009 1:46 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Such a wonderful tale

Brought tears to my eyes, but in a totally manly way of course

by blueverinefan on Jul 2, 2009 7:18 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

A Vermeil tear?

Or a Derrick Thomas HOF induction Tear?

Let's Kick some ASS in 09 or Die trying

by Steve_Chiefs on Jul 2, 2009 9:11 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

wow!!!

you are talented!! I loved it!

by HeatherChiefsLvr on Jul 6, 2009 1:07 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

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