The Birth of ANNE RETART GUPPY FRIDAY

by DThomasReigns on Feb 6, 2009 11:38 PM CST

In the spirit of pure hilarity, UCrawford is now the official ANNE RETART GUPPY FRIDAY poster. I have intentionally written "official" in lowercase, in deference, and out of respect to PARADE.

It is hereby known that on this day, the 6th of February 2009, the ANNE RETART GUPPY FRIDAY, was made law on AP (if Chris and Primetime permit it, of course).

UCrawford (UC) is designated as the ANNE RETART GUPPY FRIDAY Supreme Executive Overlord.

Per this directive, UC is granted the authority to create the ARGF post or designate others, on his behalf, to create ANNE RETART GUPPY FRIDAY posts. The posts, on his behalf, by other members shall only be under the express and direct consent of UC.

In the spirit of ANNE RETART GUPPY FRIDAY, if the ARGF post is not created by UC, any post on a Friday, written by any member, may be designated as the ANNE RETART GUPPY FRIDAY post if it is posted on that day, and meets the ridiculous level determined by UC. As such, it shall be noted by UC in the comments of said thread that it has been designated as the GUPPY thread. The aforementioned thread shall be then made open game as the ANNE RETART GUPPY FRIDAY post...hilarity shall ensue.

However, posts that are differing in opinion about the management of the team or coaching are off-limits as the ARGF. The posts must be in the spirit of the Guppy and the SACKING GROCERIES vein.

CAVEAT: In all seriousness, we should not attack genuine posts in an attempt to force an ARGF, unless they are truly Guppy/GROCERIES-esque.

Personal rider: If any post rejects the empirical awesomeness of Erykah Badu as Queen of Everything, they shall be ignored. :)

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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Comments

I CONCUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Idahochief on Feb 7, 2009 12:19 AM CST reply actions

I Prefer

Supreme Executive Overlord of “Anne Retart’s Guppy Friday Posts”.

Always wanted to be an overlord.

I have absolutely no idea who the Chiefs will draft or sign in free agency and anyone who thinks that they know is talking out of their fourth point of contact.

All I know is that the Chiefs are going to field a better team in 2009. Prediction of team record will be submitted after the 2009 draft.

by UCrawford on Feb 7, 2009 12:27 AM CST reply actions

lmao. It has been change, Mr Overlord.

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 7, 2009 10:25 AM CST up reply actions

So....

can I get some royalties on that “Anne”???! ; )

by Dustin SLO,CA on Feb 8, 2009 1:25 AM CST up reply actions

Your ideas are intriguing to me

And I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Arrowhead Pride

by Chris Thorman on Feb 7, 2009 12:53 AM CST reply actions

NO!

not without Rooneying someone first. a minority candidate must be told they are considered before UC accepts the terms of the contract.

OUR FUTURE: Bam Morris, Bill Romanowski, and John Rocker with Pete Rose as OC

On average, a professional team should win the championship about 1 time in 30 years.

by nayjevin on Feb 7, 2009 3:08 AM CST reply actions

Very good point.

I contacted Bam Morris and Tamarick Vanover, but they had other commitments.

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 7, 2009 10:32 AM CST up reply actions

I haven't agreed

With a post more than this one in a long, long time.

by Joel Thorman on Feb 7, 2009 8:44 AM CST reply actions

And

We gotta include beer gloves in there somehow.

by Joel Thorman on Feb 7, 2009 8:44 AM CST reply actions

This an absolute must.

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 7, 2009 10:33 AM CST up reply actions

This is an absolute must

My flu still has control of my brain. :)

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 7, 2009 10:35 AM CST up reply actions

RETART!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Buck'O on Feb 7, 2009 11:01 AM CST up reply actions

lol

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 7, 2009 11:34 AM CST up reply actions

ARGFT

Ya know, that poor bastage joined AP and in precisely 11 minutes he was run the fudge outta here and has an AP weekly feature created in his dishonor. Effing beautiful….. I love u guys.

#58 belongs in the Hall

by Chiefho on Feb 7, 2009 10:03 AM CST reply actions

That's Because

We’re positively Darwinian here. :)

I have absolutely no idea who the Chiefs will draft or sign in free agency and anyone who thinks that they know is talking out of their fourth point of contact.

All I know is that the Chiefs are going to field a better team in 2009. Prediction of team record will be submitted after the 2009 draft.

by UCrawford on Feb 7, 2009 10:07 AM CST up reply actions

The rule is

Don’t be stupid.

Arrowhead Pride

by Chris Thorman on Feb 7, 2009 10:45 AM CST up reply actions

It Is A Fine Rule

So sayeth the Overlord.

I have absolutely no idea who the Chiefs will draft or sign in free agency and anyone who thinks that they know is talking out of their fourth point of contact.

All I know is that the Chiefs are going to field a better team in 2009. Prediction of team record will be submitted after the 2009 draft.

by UCrawford on Feb 7, 2009 11:19 AM CST up reply actions

dwight schrute

‘I look at a thing, and say to myself, “would an idiot do that?”. If the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.’

OUR FUTURE: Bam Morris, Bill Romanowski, and John Rocker with Pete Rose as OC

On average, a professional team should win the championship about 1 time in 30 years.

by nayjevin on Feb 8, 2009 6:04 AM CST up reply actions

Oh this is rich

lol. priceless

by Buck'O on Feb 7, 2009 10:07 AM CST reply actions

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT COWHER BUYING A HOUSE IN KC? AND WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS JUST TRY TO BE A LITTLE MORE F*CKING OPTIMISTIC TOO!

(just thought I’d get the ball rolling :-)

"What we need is......more cowbell." - C. Walken

by ChiefMedic on Feb 7, 2009 10:17 AM CST reply actions

Poor Guppy

Do you suppose he will ever come back?

I am on a quest to find the answer to one of life's great mysteries-
Is guppy alive?

by saskwatch on Feb 7, 2009 10:32 AM CST reply actions

I think he's here, just reincarnated.

"What we need is......more cowbell." - C. Walken

by ChiefMedic on Feb 7, 2009 10:34 AM CST up reply actions

BTW, just noticed your signature.

Too funny.

"What we need is......more cowbell." - C. Walken

by ChiefMedic on Feb 7, 2009 10:35 AM CST up reply actions

This idea has the full endorsement

of the AP editorial board.

Arrowhead Pride

by Chris Thorman on Feb 7, 2009 10:49 AM CST reply actions

Freaking awesome!

Congratulations, Supreme Executive Overlord UCrawford.

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 7, 2009 10:56 AM CST up reply actions

you could expand this

and have other features on different days (even serious ones) – that way the frame on the main page that you use for this special feature can be consistent throughout the week. feature ideas: pros & cons monday, photoshop contest tuesday, caption this photo wednesday, etc

OUR FUTURE: Bam Morris, Bill Romanowski, and John Rocker with Pete Rose as OC

On average, a professional team should win the championship about 1 time in 30 years.

by nayjevin on Feb 8, 2009 6:07 AM CST up reply actions

Re-tart you say?

Madra di Agnus Dei?

by Official Arrowhead Pride Parade on Feb 7, 2009 10:59 AM CST reply actions

Did he just say

Erykah Badu?

by KansasCityShuffle on Feb 7, 2009 3:08 PM CST reply actions

Yeah, I have been helplessly in love with her since the late 90's

I just happened to be listening to some of her old stuff last night that I hadn’t listened to for awhile which reminded me of her awesomeness.

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 7, 2009 3:57 PM CST up reply actions

Here are two of my fave's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwjfonAdlMU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF0TzvImsl0

by KansasCityShuffle on Feb 9, 2009 5:49 PM CST up reply actions

Fully agree on both.

As for the first with The Roots, see my sig. :)

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 9, 2009 6:02 PM CST up reply actions

Other favs

Green Eyes (epic)
Back in the Day
Rim Shot (both versions)

I first heard/saw her in 98ish in The Roots “You Got Me” vid. I’ve been in love ever since.

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 9, 2009 6:08 PM CST up reply actions

rediculous

this article was so rediculous that i suddenly feel like putting my computer monitor on the floor with this article on the screen and facing upwards and pooping on it.

by Grand Master A on Feb 9, 2009 1:14 AM CST reply actions

youtube or it didn't happen

If you don't feed your fish, they die.

by nayjevin on Feb 9, 2009 4:40 AM CST up reply actions

I AM GREATLY OFFENDED BY THIS.

My name is Anne Retart, and I am holding this username hostage from UC. He failed to act on it.

I am willing to negotiate the terms of its transfer to UC, but he must be alone. :)

by ANNE RETART on Feb 15, 2009 8:55 PM CST reply actions

Yikes

Wow, um, Mr., uh Retart, I didn’t see this coming.

We’re….sorry?

by Joel Thorman on Feb 16, 2009 6:56 AM CST up reply actions

Does he have to meet you in a secluded underground garage at 8:00pm?

And do you a really deep voice and a nickname that reminds us of Debbie in a City named Dallas?

We need a future defensive leader, his name is James Laurinaitis and he can be selected in round 1 of the upcoming Draft.

Ok already, if you don't agree with what I am saying, just don't email my mom again. She beat the crap out of me with my keyboard!

"But what do I know, I’m like an empty room with a large ECHO"

by Lanier63 on Feb 16, 2009 8:48 AM CST up reply actions

I have the ANNE RETART username.

Lanier, no, I don’t have a deep throat…so I’m told…wait, forget that. :)

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 16, 2009 7:22 PM CST up reply actions

TMI

We need a future defensive leader, his name is James Laurinaitis and he can be selected in round 1 of the upcoming Draft.

Ok already, if you don't agree with what I am saying, just don't email my mom again. She beat the crap out of me with my keyboard!

"But what do I know, I’m like an empty room with a large ECHO"

by Lanier63 on Feb 16, 2009 9:03 PM CST up reply actions

By The Way, DTR

I’m totally cool if you or anyone else wants to write an “Anne Retart” post on Guppy Friday (whatever actual day of the week that falls on…or if it should fall on multiple days of the same week). It’s probably better served being more of a communal thing than a Paradebulation (which fittingly belongs only to one person).

I have absolutely no idea who the Chiefs will draft or sign in free agency and anyone who thinks that they know is talking out of their fourth point of contact.

All I know is that the Chiefs are going to field a better team in 2009. Prediction of team record will be submitted after the 2009 draft.

by UCrawford on Feb 18, 2009 1:17 PM CST up reply actions

IS DTR male or female?

I don’t have a deep throat…so I’m told…wait, forget that. :)

I don’t know how to take that

We need a future defensive leader, his name is James Laurinaitis and he can be selected in round 1 of the upcoming Draft.

"But what do I know, I’m like an empty room with a large ECHO"

by Lanier63 on Feb 18, 2009 1:55 PM CST up reply actions

Male...That was a joke.

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 18, 2009 5:01 PM CST up reply actions

I"m Lost

I thought you were talking about deep throat from Watergate at first.

by Joel Thorman on Feb 18, 2009 5:10 PM CST up reply actions

I was, that was the joke and a big FAIL.

The joke was playing on the deep throat/Watergate inference and Lanier’s reference to Debbie Does Dallas.

It was a self-deprecating joke and failed quite hard. I hate you all :)

"and peep this ethiopian queen from philly taking classes abroad, she studying film and photo flash focus record"

I don't have religion. I have Baduizm.

by DThomasReigns on Feb 18, 2009 5:24 PM CST up reply actions

LOL

Dude I wasn’t sure what to say :)

We need a future defensive leader, his name is James Laurinaitis and he can be selected in round 1 of the upcoming Draft.

"But what do I know, I’m like an empty room with a large ECHO"

by Lanier63 on Feb 18, 2009 6:22 PM CST up reply actions

Clever

And if I wasn’t an asshole who mocked squatters “rights” then I’d probably treat this with more gravity.

But if you want to post the column on Friday, by all means proceed…if you don’t produce one, however, you will immediately be usurped and your protestations ignored. :)

I have absolutely no idea who the Chiefs will draft or sign in free agency and anyone who thinks that they know is talking out of their fourth point of contact.

All I know is that the Chiefs are going to field a better team in 2009. Prediction of team record will be submitted after the 2009 draft.

by UCrawford on Feb 18, 2009 1:14 PM CST up reply actions