FanPost

A Chiefs Fan Obituary

 

On October 4th, 2009 at 3:00 p.m. in Kansas City, Missouri, O'bar Reaksion, 4 games into the season, died while grasping a beer in one hand and violently beating it against a bobble head doll of Matt Cassel.  He was last heard saying, "Damn Matt Cassel...Damn Matt Cassel to Hell...He is getting worse not better."

O'bar Reaksion was a cynical, fatalistic, hot headed, negative excuse for a human being.  But he openly boasted that compared to his best friend and colleague, Sir Ender...O'bar Reaksion truly had a positive outlook.  He frequently would point out his comment he had made before the season to a friend, Sir Ender, that the Chiefs would have a brutal first half of the season and would struggle.  However, upon his death a letter he had written was discovered outlining the precise calculations on how the Chiefs "should" have won each game.

O'bar Reaksion, a tactical mastermind and keen eyed talent evaluator, was best known as the first person since the Middle Ages to calculate the arcane formula of the dive play.  Unable to actually prove this complex theory logically, and frustrated by the cruel conspiracy of the so-called "Organizational hierarchy" working against him, he ultimately found himself scouring the streets for the mythical 53 players that were missed by the organization.  

O'bar Reaksion is survived by his oriental brother, Sho Me;  migrant oriental sister who rides her bandwagon around from team to team, Teem Ho; and best friend, Sir Ender.

 

 

BTW, "Over Reaction" might be right...Cassel did have a bad game regardless of how much time he had and might be taking steps backward because of the Offensive Line.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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