Welcome to another in my series of "Damn" posts. I would, as usual, like to warn the readers that this post uses excessivley the word damn and also mentions analogies. Big, scary, relevant, analogies. Reader beware.
Damn Matt Cassel for risking his neck and career every Sunday to play QB
for the Kansas City Chiefs, of which, I am a fan.
Damn Matt Cassel for being classy and not publicly whining and moaning about the atrocious play of the lineman being paid millions of dollars to give him more than 1.5 seconds to throw the ball.
Damn Matt Cassel for holding on to the ball too long…which on most of his drop backs, even those in the shotgun, is 1.5 seconds.
Damn Matt Cassel for getting rid of the ball to his outlet receivers after a complete and total breakdown in protection has occurred at the offensive line the moment he has gotten the ball.
Damn Matt Cassel for not throwing down field even through most of the time his receivers are only 5 yards from the line of scrimmage when he needs to get rid of the ball.
Damn Matt Cassel for not "stepping up in the pocket enough" like he did in the Seattle game in preseason when he nearly got his leg ripped off.
Damn Matt Cassel for making a couple of mistakes in the Raiders game and then leading us on a go-ahead scoring drive late in the 4th quarter to give the team a chance to win. Damn also his pinpoint touchdown pass on that drive.
Damn Matt Cassel for not sprouting wings and learning to fly so that he can just hover above the attacking defense until his receivers are able to get open.
Damn Matt Cassel for running all those stupid pass plays in the red zone, even though he didn’t call them but it is his job to run them. Also, damn him for converting those red zone opportunities into touchdowns. Asshole.
Damn Matt Cassel for making the most of his opportunity in New England and coming to Kansas City for a lot of money. What a selfish ass. If he was playing for Brodie Croyle money he would be good.
Damn Matt Cassel for not being Brodie Croyle. Stupid Cassel and his 11 NFL wins. We Chief fans like our QB’s winless (Croyle) or woefully overrated and inaccurate (Thigpen). Further more we don’t want a QB who has proven he can win with a good team. We want one who has never won an NFL game with any team. Cause he threw a couple of TD passes in the Baltimore game.
Damn Matt Cassel for throwing 5 TD’s in 3 regular season games as a Chief! We want Croyle who has thrown 8 TD’s in the 14 games he has entered as a Chief…in 3 years. Plus Baltimore.
Damn Matt Cassel for not turning around the franchise all by himself in a matter of 3 games.
Damn Cassel for having to throw screen passes because teams know they can blitz and get right to him. Further more, damn Cassel for not running over and showing the other wide receivers how to block on a screen pass.
Damn Matt Cassel for not taking a 45 step drop when he damn well knows he needs to.
Damn Matt Cassel for not run blocking…even though he could probably do a better job of it than Mike Cox and Rudy Newswinger.
Damn Matt Cassel for making a couple of mistakes on the rare occasion he has enough time to even throw the ball more than 5 yards down field. Damn him because we know that if he completes a couple of those misplaced passes, that all of the sudden the Chiefs will be the 2007 Patriots on offense. If he just doesn’t under throw Engram, that one time, (even though it was probably only the 3rd time Engram has been open all season and that Cassel was so shocked he didn’t know what to do) all the Chiefs offensive problems would be solved. The line will suddenly know how to pass protect and run block. Teams will become terrified of Engrams blazing speed and back off on the blitz. Larry Johnson will run for 200 yards every game. It should have been Croyle throwing that ball to Engram. If it was Croyle we know damn well it wouldn’t have been under thrown. It would have been over thrown. And that’s the way we like it.
Damn Matt Cassel for using an analogy. Oh wait, that was Patrick. Stupid analogies make our heads hurt.
Damn Matt Cassel. Damn him to hell with that Todd Haley guy. We want miracles here in Kansas City and we want them now.