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Doctor Diagnoses Casey Fanz with Bipolar Disorder (satire)

BS - Press - October 29, 2009  10:00am CT

Missouri resident Casey Fanz has been diagnosed with a rare mood disorder called Bipolar disorder "C".  This disorder is characterized by swings of mood from Manic Delusional Episode (during a general work week) to a Major Depressive Episode (primarily on Sunday).

AP member, Casey Fanz, has missed the past few days at the Arrowhead Nation due to testing for a disorder more commonly known as the 'roller-coaster ride.'  He was last heard saying during one Manic Delusional Episode that his favorite football team would go 8-8 after a 1-5 start.

A statement was released just one hour ago that REBT therapists say it will take "extensive therapy" to treat the activating event.  Some doctors have even gone as far as to say, "donors might be needed to replace the failing systems that are causing Fanz to have these mood swings."  Ideas for a draft will be released soon.

The disorder can affect several different members at once.  It is recommended that all members at AP Nation be checked by their personal physician immediately.  If you have any two of the symptoms below, please contact your doctor immediately.

If you:

  • start showing decreased interest in going on Arrowhead Pride on Mondays because you have "work to do." (ya right)
  • get totally smashed before 12:00 to avoid remembering the actual game. (not that bad yet)
  • start mowing grass more often anytime from 12:00-3:00 on Sunday.
  • have a wife that stops complaining that you don't pay attention to her during a Chiefs game. (things aren't looking good)
  • start humming 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' after each Chiefs game. (you have it)
  • start hanging around new friends that talk about things like kids, wheat grass juice, or soccer. (you got it bad)
  • start lying about being a Chiefs fan three times before the cock crows. (you're going straight to hell for that one)
Poll
Admitting it is the first big step...so here is your chance.
I'm really not that bad. Things are going to be ok...we can still get to 8-8.
6 votes
Yea, I have a couple of these symptoms...can I get a shot to clear that up.
8 votes
I am Casey Fanz
7 votes
Please forgive me...I denied the Chiefs three times before the cock crowed.
0 votes

21 votes | Poll has closed

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

5 recs  |  Comment 29 comments  |  Add comment

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That took me a second...lol

I was like who is Casey Fanz and what does he have to do with the Chiefs? Old age is wearing on me fast!

Winning begins with Attitude - Haley and Pioli will be winners in KC!

I'll forever be a Chiefs fan! Only God himself could take that away from me, but when I get to my great reward, I'll rejoin two bigger fans, my Mom and Dad.

by Lanier63 on Oct 29, 2009 10:36 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

It was well done.

I mean, it took me awhile, too.

No question. Otis Taylor should be in the Hall of Fame.

by hmills110 on Oct 29, 2009 5:52 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

I ♥ when girls talk dirrrty

Козацькому роду нема переводу

by craig in calgary on Oct 29, 2009 12:40 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

yeah it gives us old guys hope!...lol

Winning begins with Attitude - Haley and Pioli will be winners in KC!

I'll forever be a Chiefs fan! Only God himself could take that away from me, but when I get to my great reward, I'll rejoin two bigger fans, my Mom and Dad.

by Lanier63 on Oct 29, 2009 1:04 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

I ♥ when girls talk dirrrty

Козацькому роду нема переводу

by craig in calgary on Oct 29, 2009 12:40 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

lol you so silly

now return the favor…..talk dirty football….haha

by HeatherChiefsLvr on Oct 29, 2009 1:24 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

I love good Tight End.

Козацькому роду нема переводу

by craig in calgary on Oct 29, 2009 2:32 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

As long as it isnt blocking

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares?! He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

by SuperTurtle on Oct 29, 2009 2:42 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

i was thinking more like....

he found the hole & made great penetration in his rush for the end zone…..

something like that…sheesh, you need to work on that :)

haha

by HeatherChiefsLvr on Oct 29, 2009 2:49 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

I love you.

Козацькому роду нема переводу

by craig in calgary on Oct 29, 2009 2:55 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Flagged

Козацькому роду нема переводу

by craig in calgary on Oct 29, 2009 8:55 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Had to look

twice before I noticed the “l” in flagged. Thought you were going all LJ on me for a moment! :)

by ttownmikey on Oct 30, 2009 4:28 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

oh yeah....

like i remember a post 2 seconds it’s been read….lol

by HeatherChiefsLvr on Oct 30, 2009 9:36 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Unfortunately

that one left a bad memory for a lot of us & Ijust thought that maybe you had remembered it!! :)

by ttownmikey on Oct 30, 2009 4:29 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Heathers back!

Winning begins with Attitude - Haley and Pioli will be winners in KC!

I'll forever be a Chiefs fan! Only God himself could take that away from me, but when I get to my great reward, I'll rejoin two bigger fans, my Mom and Dad.

by Lanier63 on Oct 29, 2009 1:03 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hey my keyboard has no "heart"

how’d you do that?

Winning begins with Attitude - Haley and Pioli will be winners in KC!

I'll forever be a Chiefs fan! Only God himself could take that away from me, but when I get to my great reward, I'll rejoin two bigger fans, my Mom and Dad.

by Lanier63 on Oct 29, 2009 1:37 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I have a special Keyboard!

I ♣ baby seals

Козацькому роду нема переводу

by craig in calgary on Oct 29, 2009 2:37 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

YEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

MY FAVORITE THING OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 11 YOU DONT KNOW HOW MANY TRIPS IVE TAKEN UP NORTH JUST TO CLUB ON OUR FURRY BLUE FRIENDS!!!!!!!`11

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares?! He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

by SuperTurtle on Oct 29, 2009 2:43 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

I love the Post Rec

Couldn’t quite figure out where I fit on the Poll.
My G-string ain’t fit in 20 , 30 , ever years:)

We Will kick at least 4 Teams Asses in 09
And Succop will be the Key in two of them.
" Think and talk positive football off the field." Hank Stram

by Steve_Chiefs on Oct 29, 2009 2:09 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Thanks for the rec

getting the mental image out of my brain of that G-sting…forget…forget…forget.

Bewsaf

by Bewsaf on Oct 29, 2009 4:37 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

made me smile

rec’d – b/c I like to be able to read something on the Chiefs and smile!

by Kimble on Oct 29, 2009 5:03 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I'm a Casey Fanz.

But I can change…

If I have to…

I guess.

No question. Otis Taylor should be in the Hall of Fame.

by hmills110 on Oct 29, 2009 5:56 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Finally, an explanation

as to why I started to play soccer at the age of 27

I've been rapping for about seveteen years okay? I don't write my stuff anymore I just kick it from my head you know what I'm sayin? I can do that. No disrespect but that's how I am.

by soybon on Oct 29, 2009 6:21 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs


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