The Kansas City Chiefs are Taking Applications

From the FanPosts. I really got a kick out of this. -Chris

               APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT

                                             KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

**All potential employees are evaluated without regard to religion, age, how long you have been on waivers, who you know...like Parcells or Belichick (by the way...do you know them?), veteran status, or a non-job related handicap that might prevent you from blocking.                                                

Position Sought:________________________________________________________________________

How did you learn about the position? (check one)

                 [  ] ads in KC Star  [  ]  watched our last game  [  ] Parcells told me   [  ] I drew the short straw

Name:______________________________  Address:_____________________                City:________________                       Sate:__________________       Zip _____________________

What date would you be available for work? _________________        (Could you play this weekend?  Please!)

Are you a U.S. citizen, or are you authorized to work in the U.S. without restriction? [  ] Yes  [  ] No

Have you ever been placed on waivers by another team?        [  ] Yes   [  ] No  (If yes, then you are hired)                     

If yes, please describe circumstances ____________ (not really, we don't care...you are still hired)

If employed, are you willing to be submitted to verbal abuse?  Isolation if you are hurt?      [  ] Yes  [  ] No

If you were in a pressure situation would you:  [A] take a time out    [B] snap the F*#*$^ ball 

If you were covering for a punt, would you:  [A] down it on the one yard line [B] stick your head up your A#$ and watch it roll into the end zone

If you are blocking for a punt field goal would you: [A]  put your head up so as to stop some, say, 275lb guy from jumping over you   [B]  keep your head up your A#$ so you have a good view behind you of the blocked kick

EMPLOYMENT:

Last Employer:___________________________________________   Position:_________________________

   Was the employer the owner of the [  ] Dophins  [  ] Cowboys [  ] Patriots  [  ] Cardinals      (If so, then you are hired)

Dates Employed: ____________________ 

Address: ________________________  City:___________________  State: _____________________

Your last Head Coach was: (If not Parcells or Belichick we really don't care) __________________________-

Can you block?  [  ] Yes   [  ]  No       (Don't be so hard on yourself...you haven't seen our guys yet)

Other skills: ________________________  (Seriously, can you block)

Acknowledgment and authorization

In the event of employment, I understand that Pioli talks to his father-in-law and any false or misleading information given in my application or interview(s) may result in discharge.  I understand, also, that I am required to abide by all rules and expectations of the employer.  And if I cannot catch the F*#$#^ ball, I might be released.

Signature of Applicant: _______________________________________________________________