The Kansas City Chiefs are Taking Applications
From the FanPosts. I really got a kick out of this. -Chris
APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
**All potential employees are evaluated without regard to religion, age, how long you have been on waivers, who you know...like Parcells or Belichick (by the way...do you know them?), veteran status, or a non-job related handicap that might prevent you from blocking.
Position Sought:________________________________________________________________________
How did you learn about the position? (check one)
[ ] ads in KC Star [ ] watched our last game [ ] Parcells told me [ ] I drew the short straw
Name:______________________________ Address:_____________________ City:________________ Sate:__________________ Zip _____________________
What date would you be available for work? _________________ (Could you play this weekend? Please!)
Are you a U.S. citizen, or are you authorized to work in the U.S. without restriction? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Have you ever been placed on waivers by another team? [ ] Yes [ ] No (If yes, then you are hired)
If yes, please describe circumstances ____________ (not really, we don't care...you are still hired)
If employed, are you willing to be submitted to verbal abuse? Isolation if you are hurt? [ ] Yes [ ] No
If you were in a pressure situation would you: [A] take a time out [B] snap the F*#*$^ ball
If you were covering for a punt, would you: [A] down it on the one yard line [B] stick your head up your A#$ and watch it roll into the end zone
If you are blocking for a punt field goal would you: [A] put your head up so as to stop some, say, 275lb guy from jumping over you [B] keep your head up your A#$ so you have a good view behind you of the blocked kick
EMPLOYMENT:
Last Employer:___________________________________________ Position:_________________________
Was the employer the owner of the [ ] Dophins [ ] Cowboys [ ] Patriots [ ] Cardinals (If so, then you are hired)
Dates Employed: ____________________
Address: ________________________ City:___________________ State: _____________________
Your last Head Coach was: (If not Parcells or Belichick we really don't care) __________________________-
Can you block? [ ] Yes [ ] No (Don't be so hard on yourself...you haven't seen our guys yet)
Other skills: ________________________ (Seriously, can you block)
Acknowledgment and authorization
In the event of employment, I understand that Pioli talks to his father-in-law and any false or misleading information given in my application or interview(s) may result in discharge. I understand, also, that I am required to abide by all rules and expectations of the employer. And if I cannot catch the F*#$#^ ball, I might be released.
Signature of Applicant: _______________________________________________________________
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.
23 recs |
34 comments
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Comments
niiice
FOUR F'S FIND UM FEEL UM FUGUM FORGET UM.
by sexassassin on Oct 14, 2009 6:15 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Wow that gave me a great laugh
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares?! He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
by SuperTurtle on Oct 14, 2009 6:29 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
LOLOL
ty for the laugh!
reminds me of volunteer time with Red Cross after Hurricane Katrina hit, someone had made up and circulated a “Requisition For Sleep” form
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisiton!
by upamtn on Oct 14, 2009 6:35 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
This Post > your freaky ass Dear John Posts.
Week 6 Prediction:
Kansas City Chiefs 77 - Washington Redskins 2
by craig in calgary on Oct 14, 2009 6:39 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
No shower required for this one
Bewsaf
by Bewsaf on Oct 14, 2009 6:49 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hahaha...I liked that
It was a blocked field goal, not punt…but otherwise, i like! Funny stuff! :)
Penn State to Kansas City...Always a winning combination.
by YNinja on Oct 14, 2009 6:46 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Do you think...
I could get away with using this for a job contact for unemployment?
Just jokin’, funny shit.
by idahochieffan on Oct 14, 2009 6:57 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
so do they need references
if so sign me up
by Shutters on Oct 14, 2009 6:57 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
So funny
LOL and coughing fit. Good job (you’re hired) Bewsaf! Attention Arrowhead!!!!
by nycchief on Oct 14, 2009 7:06 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Pure fucking genius!
REC’D!!!
What about the twinkie?
"All praise Chiefus."
by DThomasReigns on Oct 14, 2009 7:25 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
YES!!!
Even with the bad record, bad coach and skinny cheerleaders I’d still take the minimum and be the best bench warmer Todd Hailey has ever seen..
Yes I believe in the system
F!@# the media
Praise the father Parcels The son Bill bill Belichick and the holy spirit Pioli…
South Side D
by doriang03 on Oct 14, 2009 7:51 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Funny and rec'd
Yeah, let's just keep matriculatin' the ball down the field, boys! ...
by oldchiefsfan on Oct 14, 2009 7:56 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
man im actually thinking about applying
Even if I don’t play I would love to hear haley rip someone a new asshole on the sidelines that right there would make my day hahah
FOUR F'S FIND UM FEEL UM FUGUM FORGET UM.
by sexassassin on Oct 14, 2009 8:12 PM CDT via mobile reply actions 0 recs
Dat sum Funny Shit!!!
If you don't recount the problems and issues of the past you are doomed to repeat them!!!!!!!
by Fan of the Red And Gold on Oct 14, 2009 8:47 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Well done Bewsaf!
Very humorous & muchly needed.
by ttownmikey on Oct 14, 2009 9:21 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Holy crap I shot beer out of my nose reading this
+1000000000 ok I’m bored of typing zeros now
by Ren on Oct 14, 2009 10:33 PM CDT via mobile reply actions 0 recs
frickin awesome!
I laughed my ass off…LOL. It is so close to the truth it is funny!
by CalChiefsFan on Oct 14, 2009 11:19 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Good job
Better not let the other teams see it. too late AL DAVIS just sent out a memo ( New Employment applications)
by Charles # 1 chiefs fan on Oct 15, 2009 12:37 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
no way
for al there has to be a ring or you had better be a track star or fat
Loved the application but i think you guys just need this year to develop and to be fair you took the cowboys to OT so cheers there (America’s team my F*$%$*%@ A$$!) i think you can take the other game vs the faiders and jamarcus the hutt! i think you guys end 6-10 seriously and look sharp in teh end! you will be tough SOB’s when we play
http://www.davusx.net/assets/db/la_la_land.gif
"We should have kept Seattle and dumped San Diego from the Division"
Davis and Sharpe to the Hall!
by Jon Tollerud on Oct 15, 2009 3:26 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Rec
We do need this your to get where were going!
We Will kick at least 4 Teams Asses in 09
And Succop will be the Key in two of them.
" Think and talk positive football off the field." Hank Stram
by Steve_Chiefs on Oct 16, 2009 9:27 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Year
We Will kick at least 4 Teams Asses in 09
And Succop will be the Key in two of them.
" Think and talk positive football off the field." Hank Stram
by Steve_Chiefs on Oct 16, 2009 9:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Vermeil already tried it...
by Official Arrowhead Pride Parade on Oct 15, 2009 12:01 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Why yes, that is Greg Kinnear
by Official Arrowhead Pride Parade on Oct 15, 2009 12:02 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
That Eagles WR gives me Good Vibrations.
Week 6 Prediction:
Kansas City Chiefs 77 - Washington Redskins 2
by craig in calgary on Oct 15, 2009 2:19 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
any chance
We could get one tweaked a little bit for managment/coaching….. I think we should all then fill one out and send them en masse to the front office…. maybe we’ll get some real changes made around arrowhead… ha… maybe I’d be qualified to be the equipment manager
by callmesir on Oct 17, 2009 2:57 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

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