The worst logo in the NFL.

by Direckshun on Aug 22, 2008 10:19 PM CDT

Does this qualify as smack talking? Then so be it. I would normally feel bad after TheSportsGuru just posted an elegant set of rules about engaging with the enemy here on SBN, but it's game day, and this atrocity can't stand.

Let's just review for the masses, shall we? It's a dolphin, wearing a helmet, while grimacing. I honestly don't know what's the dumbest thing here.

The fact that Flipper up there is angry and grimacing is sad and sorrowful. I'm sorry guys, but you've made the decision to have the friendliest-appearing waterdwelling mammal your mascot. You can't "scary-up" a dolphin any more than I can Snuggles the Bear. Giving him the browline of a neanderthal and a smirky frown makes him more of a plush toy than a football mascot.

How in the name of anything sacred is he wearing a helmet? That's a human's helmet. It doesn't even fit the animal's elongated skull. If we're going to pretend there's a football-playing porpoise, can we not also pretend there's adequate gear so he doesn't get obliterated on his first punt return? Good god, the guy doesn't even have arms and you're sending him out on the gridiron with a helmet that doesn't fit. It's like you want him endangered. His(?) entire forehead is exposed for contact.

The helmet itself is an atrocity. It's an orange "M"? Whose team features a big orange "M" on the helmet? NOBODY'S. Why not give him the helmet that the Dolphins actually wear. It could even create a Russian Dolls effect where the dolphin in the dolphin's helmet has a dolphin in his helmet which has a dolphin in his helmet. This is a masterpiece waiting to be constructed and your laziness is stupefying.

Listen, the team can do however they want. So they've got an undefeated team. They had one of the best QBs the game's ever seen. Yet all you get is a reel of grainy highlights that features your beloved Dolphins sashaying all over the field in one of history's sorriest mistakes, a piece of equipment lacking in even one sensible artistic detail, a symbol that compares your fierce heroes on the gridiron to frowning fish.

I'm surprised Goddell hasn't been on top of this. The Dolphins should resign from the league and start over with a new franchise in 5 years with a new mascot. I know you have to keep things Miami-themed, but virtually anything would be better. Knowing you guys you'd be the Miami Super Suns and have the cartoon sun from Raisin Bran on your helmet, wearing shades.

You make me sick, Dolphins. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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That's pretty bad

But can there really be a worse one than the Browns? I mean, its not even a logo. It’s just a helmet…

by ChiefDJ on Aug 22, 2008 10:52 PM CDT 0 recs

And it's not even Brown!

by ChiefDJ on Aug 22, 2008 10:53 PM CDT up 0 recs

I think I just peed

Direckshun, that was an awesome post. I had already started to think of the “Russian Dolls” thing when I got to your part about it and I nearly lost it. Had I been drinking milk at the time, it surely would have shot from my nose.

I’ve never really thought about how goofy their helmet is, but man, you summed it up perfectly. I’ll be laughing all weekend about this. I can’t wait to make a good friend of mine (a Phin fan) read this and explain himself and his team to me. Let’s just hope we put up a W on Saturday just to add the exclamation point.

by Ochophosphate on Aug 22, 2008 11:27 PM CDT 0 recs

Looks like

You’ve already drawn the ire of one Phin phan.

But at the same time you’ve inspired them to poll on the same topic.

by Ochophosphate on Aug 23, 2008 12:13 AM CDT up 0 recs

The worst part...

They have a poll of only 31 teams. They won’t even consider that they have the worst helmet.

by KCScuba on Aug 23, 2008 12:17 AM CDT up 0 recs

The Helmet Project

I’m not sure if any of you have come across this site, but it is awesome. It is a fairly complete compendium of helmets, new and old for all sorts of football teams college and pro.

If you look at the Classic AFC West helmets, the Broncos had some awful helmets/logos in the mid 60’s. The horses look like they were drawn by a 3rd grader… having a seizure… on a merry-go-round.

I didn’t realize this, but the Chiefs have had the same helmet since 1974. No need to mess with perfection I guess. w00t!

by Ochophosphate on Aug 22, 2008 11:38 PM CDT 0 recs

PETA

You’ve stirred quite a controversy, Direckshun. PETA is now investigating several aspects of this logo art and the dolphin that posed.
1. Was the helmet, in fact, too small and did it cause brain damage while posing?
2. Did the dolphin model get adequate breaks during the artist’s rendering?
3. Was sunscreen used to protect the dolphin’s skin while the sun was behind it?
4. What artificial means were used to give the dolphin it’s grimacing expression?
5. Is the dolphin model still receiving regular residual payments, as scheduled?

Plus, I understand that Chad Pennington read your rant tonight and is, at this very second, using a crayon to draw shark teeth on the dolphin on his helmet.

by sunny D on Aug 22, 2008 11:38 PM CDT 1 recs

Classic.

Rec.

by Direckshun on Aug 23, 2008 5:07 PM CDT up 0 recs

Loving the trash talk!

by Chris on Aug 23, 2008 7:29 AM CDT 0 recs

Broncos

I hate that stupid ghost horse thing…I think it looks like crap. I thought their old uniforms were classy and the logo well done.

Supporting the lesser of two evils is still supporting something evil.

by UCrawford on Aug 23, 2008 9:10 AM CDT 0 recs

True.

But at least a ghost is cool.

And a horse can be cool.

An overgrown piece of tuna, not so much.

by Direckshun on Aug 23, 2008 5:08 PM CDT up 0 recs

+1000

the donkeys’ old uniforms were much better

by PVChiefsfan on Aug 23, 2008 6:09 PM CDT up 0 recs

As a lifelong Dolphin fan...

…it is nothing new to receive insults about my favorite team’s mascot, uniform colors, or helmet. While I’ve loved the uniform and helmet since I was a kid, I can appreciate the enemy’s position and their need to lash out at their (usually superior) opponent. I could bring up reminders of very long Christmas Day games, playoff games in the early ’90’s, or even the insensitivities of certain franchises who use Native American stereotypes as their mascots. But no, that would not be addressing the problem at hand. The true issue at hand is the worst helmet of all time, and that, my friends, was worn by Hank Stram while coaching in Super Bowl IV.

Go Dolphins.

If I had a tagline, this would be it.

by lancelotlink on Aug 23, 2008 9:15 AM CDT 0 recs

On the topic of Native Americans

The only one I feel is questionable is the Redskins. Teams like the Braves, Chiefs, Seminoles all come across as respectful in my book… a tribute to the tribes that once roamed this land before the Europeans committed one of the largest, longest acts of genocide this world may ever see. Redskin, as far as I know was and is considered derogatory to Native Americans… possibly even a slur. Could you imagine the outrage if we had a team today called the Blackskins?

I see a Chief as a leader, a captain… a position held with honor. Americans seemed to rally around the Patriots after Sept. 11th… as a Patriot was considered an American icon – a respectable upstanding citizen of this country. Is a Chief not similarly viewed among Native Americans?

Do Irish people have problems with Notre Dame’s “Fighting Irish”? Are pirates offended by “Buccaneers”? Are particularly large people offended by “Giants”? Other than it’s horrid looks and atrocious styling, did people avoid buying the Pontiac Aztek because of its name?

As for the Chiefs v. Goofy Helmets tonight, this game unfortunately means little. Let’s talk again before December 21st.

by Ochophosphate on Aug 23, 2008 10:52 AM CDT up 0 recs

re: Pontiac Aztec

That car has it double… Pontiac and Aztec…

Pontiac was the leader of the Ottawa Tribe when they rebelled against the British in 1763.

So I guess that whole brand should be renamed because it is offensive.

by Ochophosphate on Aug 23, 2008 10:56 AM CDT up 0 recs

It is offensive...

…but only because the car is a piece of crap.

If I had a tagline, this would be it.

by lancelotlink on Aug 23, 2008 12:53 PM CDT up 0 recs

Different Team, Same Idea

y not if im wrong who will remember

by qbinfin on Apr 27, 2008 3:27 PM PDT

by DolfinPhan on Aug 23, 2008 12:42 PM CDT up 0 recs

I forgot the Indians

and in honesty, I didn’t take the logos in to as much consideration as the names themselves. I certainly see your point on some specifically. I was mostly defending my beloved Chiefs, much the way you were defending your beloved Dolphins.

by Ochophosphate on Aug 23, 2008 2:43 PM CDT up 0 recs

I understand, we’re both defending our teams, which is fine. But I;m defending an intelligent animal, you’re defending a rather offensive stereotype:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Kansas-City-Chiefs_-1960s_Secondary.png

remember that old logo?

y not if im wrong who will remember

by qbinfin on Apr 27, 2008 3:27 PM PDT

by DolfinPhan on Aug 23, 2008 4:56 PM CDT up 0 recs

I only eat tuna that has dolphins in it.

Mainly because I hate you.

by Direckshun on Aug 23, 2008 5:08 PM CDT up 0 recs

Bumble Bee Tuna!

y not if im wrong who will remember

by qbinfin on Apr 27, 2008 3:27 PM PDT

by DolfinPhan on Aug 23, 2008 11:34 PM CDT up 0 recs

No

That was about a decade before I was born, sorry.

I wasn’t aware that I was defending the actions of people 40 years ago. If that is the case, I’m sure we can dig up a slew of offensive crap that occurred across the board on every team. Get over it.

I am defending the current Chiefs. Is an arrowhead offensive and/or stereotypical?

by Ochophosphate on Aug 23, 2008 5:36 PM CDT up 0 recs

Then you can’t be proud of the Chief’s only Superbowl win. You love it all or you don’t, no middle ground!

y not if im wrong who will remember

by qbinfin on Apr 27, 2008 3:27 PM PDT

by DolfinPhan on Aug 23, 2008 11:38 PM CDT up 0 recs

I don't really see it as "a tribute"...

…especially when you take a look at some of the mascots roaming the sidelines. Better yet, how about sitting through a few choruses of the Tomahawk Chop? I agree completely on the topic of the Redskins. However, while the names “Braves”, “Chiefs”, etc, aren’t slurs, I’m not sure we would react so ambivalently to a team named the Detroit Mullahs or Pittsburgh Rabbis (unless the team was comprised entirely of rabbis — which would be awesome), complete with a mascot dressed in traditional garb prancing on the sidelines. Those are just leaders of their respective communities, after all.

As for the Patriots, that’s not exactly a race of people or an ethnic group. Indians, Braves, Chiefs, Seminoles…these are all specific to one particular ethnicity and culture.

I don’t know if Irish people have a problem with Notre Dame. I do know quite a few Irish Catholics who went to Notre Dame and are very proud of it. As for pirates and giants — if I see any I’ll ask. As far as I’m concerned, asking is probably the best approach. The few friends and co-workers of Native American heritage I have asked simply choose to ignore it. They don’t like it, and they do find it insulting.

Finally, I agree that tonight’s game is meaningless (unless you’re on the bubble for either team), and I would be happy to talk again before 12/21.

Go Dolphins.

If I had a tagline, this would be it.

by lancelotlink on Aug 23, 2008 12:51 PM CDT up 0 recs

Chiefs aren't a race or ethnic group

I know I’m splitting hairs, but they represent a small subset or position of status within said group… unlike Seminoles, Indians, or even the Redskins which address a general group as a whole. Your example of Mullahs and Rabbis is close enough. I would more liken it to the Washington Generals, who unfortunately get beat mercilessly by the Globetrotters at a staggering ratio.

This is also why I brought Patriots in… as they are not a race or ethnic group as you mentioned… but my argument is the Chiefs aren’t either – but like Patriots were held in esteem within their tribe or group.

Ok, I’ll stop beating a dead Dolphin now.

I hope tonight’s game is beneficial for both sides, and a sure as hell hope that we come out injury free.

by Ochophosphate on Aug 23, 2008 2:51 PM CDT up 0 recs

I thought the Indians were actually named that way to honor one of their players who died who was native american

I may be misremembering that, though. In any case, the logo is super offensive.

This space intentionally left blank.

by marbotty on Aug 24, 2008 7:30 AM CDT up 0 recs

The Dolphin

Obviously you know nothing about how kick ass Dolphins are… and how mean they can be.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_dolphin

Marine Recon. Literally.

How bad ass is that?

Remember that episode of the Simpsons when Lisa releases the Dolphin King who then comes back with his Dolphin minions to take over Springfield?

y not if im wrong who will remember

by qbinfin on Apr 27, 2008 3:27 PM PDT

by DolfinPhan on Aug 23, 2008 12:58 PM CDT 0 recs

All I know..

…is that sometimes the military will send dolphins into waters in order to sacrifice them to watermines.

That’s what’s going to happen tonight on the gridiron.

Kaboom, fin fans.

by Direckshun on Aug 23, 2008 5:11 PM CDT up 0 recs

... 8 hours later

Dolphins blank Chiefs. 24 – donut.

y not if im wrong who will remember

by qbinfin on Apr 27, 2008 3:27 PM PDT

by DolfinPhan on Aug 23, 2008 11:37 PM CDT up 0 recs

Possible alternatives

Is there a definable term for this? Because that would be great logo for Miami. I’m thinking in the same vein as the 49ersor the Packers. Maybe the Miami “Brahs?”

by Official Arrowhead Pride Parade on Aug 23, 2008 1:07 PM CDT 0 recs