FanPost

Mr. PARADE goes to Arrowhead

We know it's a little late, but we wanted to provide a brief recap after attending a game in the flesh, per Chris' request.

These we our observations:

A. Good God is it cold, so cold, so very very cold.  We had the good fortune of getting to stay in a box, but being a purist we chose to sit outside, where the beer froze before you could drink it.

B. We do not want to be the Dolphins, just as we'd say we do not want to be Denver or San Diego, or a number of other 'perceptually' successful teams this season.  We want to be New England or the Giants or possibly Pittsburgh, all programs more than gimmicks.

C. This is part in parcel with point B, the Chiefs much like Pulcinella of the Commedia dell'arte are predestined to lose despite any number of possible improvisational scenarios.  We find this mildly encouraging insofar as a team that beats itself could easily become one of the overrated 'perceptually' successful teams next year.  Although, like we said, this is not what we want, we want forceful dominance.

D. Congratulations Kansas City, we finally have a sh*tty quarterback to call our own.  This may sound like an insult, it isn't, at least not completely.  About a year ago our main frame of reference for Jay Cutler was the South Park episode where Stan says to Cutler: “Nice to meet you. You kinda suck, but my dad said you might be good someday.”  Well, Bones, you kinda suck, but you might not be Rex Grossman and you might be good some day.  Basically, he fits our previous analysis that he's just reckless and dumb enought to take the risks necessary for an aggressive passing attack, now if he can be smarter than Grossman (ie: not always go for the guy in triple coverage), wean himself off Tony a bit, and not telegraph his passes so much, we might have a pretty damn good quarterback on our hands.

D(2). Also, his deep or generally any pass that requires arc, need a lot of work.  Yes, Sunday was like throwing a medicine ball, but corner fade endzone throw (incidentally our personally most loathed play in football {let's reduce an entire games outcome to what equates to an undefendable carnie game of ring toss}) was off by a good six feet.

E. Chan Gailey is brilliant, not only did he change the offense mid-season, but what's most amazing is in this spread offense the number of receivers open that Bones never even sees.  Seeing it live it's amazing at it really makes the forced throws to Tony look kinda stupid (only 'kinda' cause he catches most of them).

G. Glenn Dorsey is gonna be good, no question, seeing him live makes a big difference.

H. Tamba Hali and Rocky Boiman are good football players.  We can't say they're stars or even that Boiman has any business starting, but we'd definitely like to see him on the team next year.

I. Derrick Johnson still has a lot of career left and is exciting to watch.

J. Ron Edwards is a slow, slow fat man who is not good, at all, for serious, he's awful.

K. Our linebacking corps is weak, especially on containment, also Alphonso Boone can hit the bricks as far as we're concerned...................

L. Jarrad Page is really hitting his stride lately.

M. If you own a dolphin's "dreadlock" ski hat and dolphin's logo'd black leather jacket, chances are 100% you're a douche.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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