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Jake Plummer: Embarrassment On and Off the Field

As I'm working on my preview for this week's game against the Denver Broncos, I felt like I just had to take a quick stab and good 'ole Jake Plummer.  If his life was a sitcom, it would win an Emmy (or Oscar? Not really sure here).

First and foremost, Plummer's look is as about as nasty as it can get in the NFL.  


Sorry I didn't warn you guys on that picture.  I'm sure some of you threw up a bit in your mouth. If website music wasn't so annoying, I'd put on some heavy bass and probably get confused on whether or not I was looking at a 1970s porn star.

Forget the molestache for a moment and focus on Plummer's driving skills.  If you remember, Jake was ticketed in a road rage incident in which he intentionally backed his Honda Element into another driver. At least I think it was an Element. Somebody look that up. Jake must have just left his buddy's house after a munchie session because this is what the driver had to say:

"I know he's under a lot of pressure, and he just has a lot of competition now," said victim Doug Stone, referring to first-round draft pick Jay Cutler, the Vanderbilt quarterback selected two days after the alleged incident. "I thought the guy was about 19 or 20 years old, and he lived with his parents."

Yep.  That's about right.

Finally, how can Chiefs fans forget Plummer making one of the dumbest, most uncoordinated plays in NFL history. The Left Handed Pass. The LHP is one of Plummer's specialities in fact. His other speciality is continually being hyped and disappointing Elway fans while somehow keeping his job. If you were backed down against the Chiefs late in the game on your own goal line on 3rd and very long, what would you do?

A. Make the superstar pass you know you're capable of as an NFL QB.

B. Throw the ball away as the Chiefs defense collapsed around you.

C. Do whatever you could to NOT create a turnover deep in your own territory.

D. Switch from your dominant right hand and throw an interception with your freakishly female-like left hand.

If you're Jake Plummer, you choose D! I can't wait for another ambidextrous season from the Bronco's QB.

0 recs | Comment 12 comments

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RE: Plummer
Looks like an extra on Dazed and Confused.
Blogger at Cincy Jungle

by Kirkendall on Sep 13, 2006 8:31 PM CDT   0 recs

Classic
Nice post.

I like Jake Plumber b/c he is good for the Chiefs.  I like that he torments Donk fans.  But I am worried about his bootleg prowess this Sunday.

Cheers!

You play to win the game!

by tailgateandwin on Sep 13, 2006 9:01 PM CDT   0 recs

That bootleg of his
haunts me at night.  How can we fall for it SO BAD each time?

by Chris on Sep 13, 2006 9:57 PM CDT   0 recs

Plummer
Of course, he's also better than what the Chiefs plan on using at quarterback.

Kaycee, meet 0-2.

Cola
http://www.classiccolaforthesoul.com

by Cola on Sep 13, 2006 10:51 PM CDT   0 recs

Which is true
But trash talking never was about right/wrong or true/false, was it?

by Chris on Sep 14, 2006 7:01 AM CDT   0 recs

Only...
a matter of time before fans start chanting 19-69 when talking about the Chiefs...

1969!?!?!?

No wonder Vermeil cried alot!

by TheSportsGuru on Sep 14, 2006 9:29 AM CDT   0 recs

You been smokin'
Looks like we know what you all up there do besides Coors, Just remember... Dont share "needles"! they roll downhill!
Walk in Peace with the Lord Mark4 39-40! *********************************** see "kansagonian" at: http://backdowntheoregontrail-seaside-to-kc.blogspot.com/

by kansagonian on Sep 14, 2006 3:35 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Its difficult to fend off trash talking
attacks when you're team hasn't won the Super Bowl since 1969.  Yes, I feel everyone's pain.  

by Chris on Sep 14, 2006 9:48 AM CDT   0 recs

Funny but...
he can look like a shriveled, overcooked hotdog, Plummer can look like a porn star pot head, and Elway can look like a horse, but it's all about rings baby!!!

by TheSportsGuru on Sep 14, 2006 11:54 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Do you send them
to rehab after the Super Bowl.... or before? Is in the contract right? Elway had that same, shall we say "overwhelmed look" too you should post them side by side! Bookends..
Walk in Peace with the Lord Mark4 39-40! *********************************** see "kansagonian" at: http://backdowntheoregontrail-seaside-to-kc.blogspot.com/

by kansagonian on Sep 14, 2006 3:38 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Unfortunately
You're right.

by Chris on Sep 14, 2006 12:25 PM CDT   0 recs

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